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20 Things You Should Never Think About After Midnight

Or probably before midnight either.

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1. Does everyone have the ‘M’ in the middle of their hand?

Let me see yours just to check.
Via pixabay.com

Let me see yours just to check.

2. Can people use their long hair as a scarf?

Would it be warm? WOULD IT BE WARM?
Via pixabay.com

Would it be warm? WOULD IT BE WARM?

3. What’s the vaguest Yankee Candle scent?

What the hell is “Crisp Morning Air” supposed to smell like? Also see the former candle “Man Town.”
Via yankeecandle.com

What the hell is “Crisp Morning Air” supposed to smell like? Also see the former candle “Man Town.”

4. What do dogs think about humans kissing?

arf arf woof barkTranslation: Why are they slobbering all over each other, that other human who loves me isn’t a tennis ball.
Via pixabay.com

arf arf woof bark

Translation: Why are they slobbering all over each other, that other human who loves me isn’t a tennis ball.

5. Speaking of dogs, what about cats? Do cats have a conscience? Can they feel?

No. They hate you and your breakables.
Via pixabay.com

No. They hate you and your breakables.

6. Is it really the next day if I don’t go to sleep?

I control the universe.
Via pixabay.com

I control the universe.

7. What’s the wildest Harry Potter fan fiction combo someone’s done?

The top half of the broken Elder Wand from the last Harry Potter film (obviously has to be the film because they DON’T BREAK IT IN THE BOOKS) and the escaped chocolate frog from the train in the first movie.“They met in the water. Both not typically aquatic creatures for one reason or another—melting and rotting—but fate brought them together.”(It’s Dobby/Hagrid, who are we kidding. But Ron/Hedwig tho... And who can forget Quirrell/Buckbeak? Or Enoby/Draco??)
Via fanpop.com

The top half of the broken Elder Wand from the last Harry Potter film (obviously has to be the film because they DON’T BREAK IT IN THE BOOKS) and the escaped chocolate frog from the train in the first movie.

“They met in the water. Both not typically aquatic creatures for one reason or another—melting and rotting—but fate brought them together.”

(It’s Dobby/Hagrid, who are we kidding. But Ron/Hedwig tho... And who can forget Quirrell/Buckbeak? Or Enoby/Draco??)

8. Is butter a carb?

original by plumkat / Via plumkat.tumblr.com

Yes.

9. Why do all the old Disney characters wear gloves?

original by elegantemileigh / Via elegantemileigh.tumblr.com

Are their hands pure uncovered muscle underneath?

10. In winter do bugs just sleep in our walls?

Or do they die…
Via pixabay.com

Or do they die…

11. Which episode of Bob’s Burgers is the best?

original by lewzerkid / Via reddit.com

Arguably, all of them. Do you see the problem?

12. Was Twilight completely misunderstood as a franchise?

I mean, despite the problematic content in the books and films, the entire multi-billion dollar franchise exists because of girls. Have we apologized to Kristen Stewart enough??
Via fanpop.com

I mean, despite the problematic content in the books and films, the entire multi-billion dollar franchise exists because of girls. Have we apologized to Kristen Stewart enough??

13. Does toast that’s buttered upside down taste the same as right side up?

Does anyone else remember that weird Butter Battle Book Dr. Seuss video segment or…
Via truthdig.com

Does anyone else remember that weird Butter Battle Book Dr. Seuss video segment or…

14. Assuming there are people somewhere in the Andromeda Galaxy on an Earth-like planet, how many of them would want to date me?

Would I do better in another galaxy? Maybe moving cities is easier.
Via pixabay.com

Would I do better in another galaxy? Maybe moving cities is easier.

15. If I were a celebrity, what would my signature pose be?

Over the shoulder with a wink? Pucker the lips with a peace sign? Precisely flip my hair and make it look effortless while a trigger in my shoe releases bubbles for a different, underwater mermaid aesthetic?
Via pixabay.com

Over the shoulder with a wink? Pucker the lips with a peace sign? Precisely flip my hair and make it look effortless while a trigger in my shoe releases bubbles for a different, underwater mermaid aesthetic?

16. What’s the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever said?

Don’t answer that. No one answer that.
Via pixabay.com

Don’t answer that. No one answer that.

17. Does the moon know we’re here?

🌚
Via pixabay.com

🌚

18. What if I hadn’t said that ONE THING in sixth grade, would my life be completely different?

I’d be living in a mansion, feeding my pet unicorn with rainbows, drinking coffee (because I like coffee now), smooching all of my trophies (I have trophies now), and have a cool, new, edgy bamboo house plant (I don't accidentally kill plants now).
Via pixabay.com

I’d be living in a mansion, feeding my pet unicorn with rainbows, drinking coffee (because I like coffee now), smooching all of my trophies (I have trophies now), and have a cool, new, edgy bamboo house plant (I don't accidentally kill plants now).

19. When I’m eating chips, do people really hear it as loudly as I think they do?

#SelfConsciousChipEater
Via pixabay.com

#SelfConsciousChipEater

20. What am I doing with my life?

Maybe now that it's 1am, it's not the time to ask. Go to sleep.
Via pixabay.com

Maybe now that it's 1am, it's not the time to ask. Go to sleep.

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