Note: In order to ensure accuracy, commentary has been taken directly from the scientific reports.
2. Peeps and alcohol.
The peep imbibed liberally. Note that this Peep is having trouble swimming upright. This same peep bumped into the sides of the experimental chamber several times over the duration of this study
The test subject did report a moderate headache and some nausea the day following this study. Otherwise, however, this Peep was not substantially or permanently impaired.
The synergistic effect of smoking and alcohol in Peeps produces a rapidly exothermic oxidation reaction, leading to a chemical and morphological divergence from the wild-type Peep phenotypes.
Assistant lab members described these divergent Peeps as “less sweet,” “crunchier,” and “gross” when compared to the Peeps which used either alcohol or tobacco, but not both. For these reasons, it is our strong recommendation to JustBorn Corporation that they supervise young Peeps and educate them of the risks associated with smoking and alcohol.
- Around 100 people drowned this past weekend after two migrant vessels went down in the Mediterranean sea.
- People trolled the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency for tweeting elements of the historic Osama bin Laden raid in Pakistan five years ago.
- And elephants performed for the last time at Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey after years of protest from animal advocates 🐘