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This New Mom Is Sharing Things She Never Thought About Before Having A Baby, And It's Equal Parts Eye-Opening And Hilarious

"If you are having a baby with a dude, you will have to hear your mom call him 'daddy.'"

Recently, one of my closest friends had a baby. She's the first parent in the friend group and living vicariously through her journey has been educational, to say the least. There is just sooo much about having a baby that nobody really talks about until it's happening.

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Babies are so small, yet so powerfully chaotic. I am in awe of her and all parents everywhere. I don't know how you do it. 

So when I came across 32-year-old Emily Haswell's TikTok sharing things she never thought about before having a baby, I laughed, I cried, I hit the share button, and I was absolutely fascinated with the conversation in the comments.

In the video, she says, "Hello, these are some things I didn't think about before having a baby that I urge you to consider. If you are having a baby with a dude, you will have to hear your mom call him 'daddy.' If you have a bathroom emergency while you're alone with your baby, your baby has to come with you because they can't survive. And they just watch you with dead eyes as you fight for your life."

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"You still take care of your baby even when you're on your period. The government doesn't send anybody to help or anything. Boomers really don't care about visiting a 32-year-old woman that's gonna yell about police brutality every time they visit, but they are very interested in visiting a little cute baby that can't talk. So just know that your family is going to be around a lot more."

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"You're responsible for clipping your baby's fingernails, even though it feels like something that a surgeon should be doing. The majority of noises that babies make sound like they're not long for this world. In reality, they're just tiny scientists. You are the test subject, and the experiment is how many times a day can they make you go, 'Is she okay?'"

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And in the comments, parents are swapping harrowing tales of bathroom emergencies, fingernail clipping incidents, and the absolute horror of hearing your mom call your partner "daddy."

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One commenter wrote, "Today my baby pooped while I did and it felt like family bonding time." Another chimed in, "I've never clipped my son's nails because I watched my mom accidentally cut off my brother's finger tip as a baby. My husband does it every time." And someone else confirmed that the daddy thing is all too real, writing, "I will never recover from my mom calling my fiancé daddy."

Emily told BuzzFeed that the response to her videos has been incredible and varied. "There have been so many people who have been like, 'This video reminded me to take my birth control.' Which is hilarious, because yeah, if I saw the realities of motherhood at 22, I would be doubling up on my BC as well. People also really related to having to take your baby with you to the bathroom when you have a bowel emergency."

And she says she wants to normalize people sharing the real, non-aesthetic parts of parenting. "There is so much content out there that is just parents in sparkling white kitchens who never complain. That's very inspirational, but parents should be reminded that you can love your kid with all your heart and still be annoyed that you can't go to a movie whenever you want. Joking around about the realities of parenthood doesn't make you any less grateful for your baby."

"I love my daughter so much — she recently started smiling, and it feels like literal magic every time she does it; it's unreal. I love her in a way that is borderline embarrassing and not funny at all." But she says there are things about parenthood that can be really hard, too. "Being a new parent can be lonely; having an audience of moms who can shout a collective 'me too!' really helps."

For more hilariously real new mom experiences, follow Emily on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter.

And please, if there are more things nobody told you about being a parent that you want to share, sound off in the comments. I am absolutely fascinated and can't wait to hear about your experiences.