Twitter Reacts Hilariously To Maureen Dowd Getting Way Too High

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd went to Colorado, where she ate legal edible weed and ended up “curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours.”

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

In Maureen Dowd’s latest column she writes about going to Colorado in January 2014 to report on legalized marijuana and how she ended up so high she thought she was dead:

I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me.

She writes that she found out later that a novice, such as her, should have broken the edible into 16 pieces and eat one piece. Dowd goes on to talk about the dangers of too much pot and the “darker side of unleashing a drug as potent as marijuana on a horde of tourists of all ages and tolerance levels seeking a mellow buzz.”

1. Dowd follows the lead of other New York Times columnists who have come out against weed, including David Brooks who wrote in January that he smoked as a teenager, but doesn’t think it should be legal now.

3. Some readers were surprised that the column was written by someone who had won a pulitzer prize:

Maureen Dowd's next column "How Do I Know That the Color Blue to Me is the Same as the Color Blue to You?" already has Pulitzer buzz.

— Matt Christman (@cushbomb)

5. While many people were simply impressed she got paid for the column:

Dowd gets paid $750k for her stuff, and Sacramento Bee turned down my story about getting emotional listening to "Be My Baby" on mushrooms.

— David Roth (@david_j_roth)

I can has Maureen Dowd's job?

— Sarah Jaffe (@sarahljaffe)

7. And others wondered if the New York Times paid for her stoned experience:

I hope she expensed it. http://t.co/DhrGtYO6zH

— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538)

8. Some people were also excited about the possibility of getting high with Dowd:

Retweet if you would totally get high with Maureen Dowd. Fav if you don't want to admit you would. http://t.co/l1VqPQo2cV

— Jimmy (@JimmyPrinceton)

@nkulw @connorsimpson hahaha omg I NEED TO EAT POT BROWNIES WITH MAUREEN DOWD. IT IS MY ONLY ASPIRATION NOW

— Maureen O'Connor (@maureenoco)

10. Some wanted to know what Dowd’s trip looked like:

Hey NYT, digital innovation means this should include hotel room video RT @NYTimesDowd: Don’t Harsh Our Mellow, Dude http://t.co/Dr4y5Jhlgo

— Clara Ritger (@clararitger)

11. Others enjoyed imagining what her reefer experience looked like:

Exclusive photo of Maureen Dowd's bad trip

— Hunter Walker (@hunterw)

Just obtained this exclusive image of Maureen Dowd after she had some marijuana. Chilling.

— mike toole (@miketoole)

Found Maureen Dowd's latest Op-Ed piece.

— albertina rizzo (@albz)

14. People also encouraged follow-ups on the column:

I demand that someone turn this Maureen Dowd column into a sitcom pilot #TheNewsChoom http://t.co/1stjKrW62m

— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik)

I want a remix of the Maureen Dowd/ NYTimes "pot is terrifying" column & the stoner "double rainbow" YouTube dude. Internet, please provide.

— Bill Werde (@bwerde)

Next Maureen Dowd column:

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee)

17. A lot of people were excited about the potential Dowd’s column opened-up for future taste-testing drug columns:

Can't wait for Maureen Dowd's new opinion piece on Krokodil in this Sunday's NYTimes!

— Greenfield-Sanders (@Liliana)

Can't wait for Maureen Dowd's crack column.

— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson)

A Maureen Dowd on pot column gives me hope for a Peggy Noonan on mescaline column.

— Leah Reich (@ohheygreat)

Working on a piece for NYT op-ed page where I pound a liter of vodka and talk about how terrible I feel afterwards http://t.co/H3S0h1hwnU

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum)

I hope Maureen Dowd does one about whip-its next.

— Jessie (@NicCageMatch)

Next: Maureen Dowd takes MDMA, complains about why the Skrillex music is so loud.

— Zack Beauchamp (@zackbeauchamp)

It's like saying, "I haven't had a drink in 30 years, let's have a WHOLE BOTTLE OF GIN." Weed is a marathon. Pace yourself, Dowd.

— Neal Pollack (@nealpollack)

24. Twitter users even questioned that they weren’t hallucinating, after reading the column:

Did I ingest a ton of pot? Because I just had a horrible hallucination of having read Maureen Dowd column that was even stupider than usual

— Daniel Radosh (@danielradosh)

Did I eat an entire candy bar laced with a natural hallucinogen or do people actually still care about Maureen Dowd?

— Ian Millhiser (@imillhiser)

26. A few Twitter users were surprised by Dowd’s choice to wear green corduroys:

Were the green corduroys part of Maureen Dowd's hallucinations or were they for real?

— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123)

yo so maureen dowd got dressed in green corduroys before getting high?

— katie honan (@katie_honan)

28. Others enjoyed summarizing the article:

TL;DR version of Maureen Dowd's latest column:

— šīrīn ✺ š▟īʿ (@shereenTshafi)

29. While many were just blown away by the whole thing:

How I felt after reading Maureen Dowd's column on pot is the same way I felt when I had pot the first time... This:

— Josh Shahryar (@JShahryar)

Every night I tell my daughter reading Maureen Dowd will destroy her brain cells & hamper her cognitive capacity.

— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet)

Maureen Dowd, setting a standard for being impaired on the job that even I can't hope to meet.

— Drunk Predator Drone (@drunkenpredator)

32. People on Twitter were also critical of Dowd’s conclusion:

.@NYTimesDowd pigged out on a pot cookie so entire industry _must_ be strictly regulated! http://t.co/Ws0jcSIL1f #BetThereWasADosageLabel

— Justin Raimondo (@JustinRaimondo)

Too much booze: death Too much cocaine: death Too much heroin: death Too many pills: death Too much pot: HILARIOUS MAUREEN DOWD COLUMN

— BitterOldPunk (@BitterOldPunk)

update

Dowd told Business Insider she she still favors marijuana legalization, “but given all the tourists streaming into Colorado, it would be better to err on the side of conservative cautions.”

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Michelle Broder Van Dyke is a reporter and night editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in Hawaii.
Contact Michelle Broder Van Dyke at michelle@buzzfeed.com.
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