1."He told me he was really interested in planes, and pulled up some pictures of planes online and told me details about them. At first, I thought it was really cool, as I like people who are passionate about something, and I love learning new things. But, he kept pulling up other planes and talking about them, even while I tried to ask about other stuff or tell him more about me. After literally TWO HOURS and who knows how many fricken’ planes, I pretended I got an emergency text and had to leave."
2."She was on her phone the entire time. I felt like I was eavesdropping on her super busy life. I immediately figured that this was gonna be how everything in a relationship was going to be like, with everything online and discussed all the time forever. Hard pass."
3."I went on a date with a guy that I thought was great. I went into the ladies' room, and our waitress followed me in. She went, 'You seem like a nice girl so I wanted to let you know, your date is married.' When I didn’t respond, she continued, 'They have brunch here every Sunday. He’s a jerk, but she’s super nice, and it kills me that you’re the third date he’s brought here this week.' She distracted him while I walked right out the door."
4."I was on my first date with a guy I had been talking to online for a while. We went to a restaurant, and he spent the entire time checking out every single female that walked in and out of the restaurant, in a creepy kind of way. Not even subtly but full-on head and body turn to ogle each girl while talking to me. I told him I needed to make a call, went outside, and kept going back to my car. He didn't call me for another hour to see what happened, most likely because he was busy ogling women in the restaurant."
5."I went on a date with this guy a while ago. We went to see a movie; he wouldn't stop talking and quizzing me: 'Do you know what kind of car that is?' 'Do you know what other movie he is in?' etc. To top it off, he invited his other friends that were couples, but they had gotten completely wasted beforehand and kept drinking in the theater. It was such a shit show. I got up to use the bathroom and left. I blocked his number."
6."It was a blind date. He was late, and he 'forgot' his wallet. He told me he didn’t care that I had small, real boobs. He said he’d stick by my side if I got pregnant. Finally, as we were leaving in our separate cars, he stuck his tongue out at me, like a 5-year-old boy does when he steals your toy."
7."I met a guy who I’d matched with online; unfortunately, he turned up an hour late and clearly stoned. Then, he offered me pills. My dating profile clearly said: No illegal drugs."
8."My friend met up with a guy for dinner, and within the first few minutes, he told her that before their second date he would need to see an 'official copy' of her SAT scores because he 'only dates smart women.' Like, it's a condescending enough concept to begin with, but the fact that it was her SAT score he wanted...not an IQ test or something, but her SAT?! She was 37 years old! She had taken the SAT almost two decades ago. She was also a doctoral candidate at the time, but I guess that wasn't proof enough of her intelligence for him."
9."A new work friend set me up with her boyfriend's roommate. I knew pretty early into the date that it wasn't meant to be, but then, my work friend decided to show up at the bar where we were and crashed the date. Annoyed, but still wanting to have a good time, I went to get another pitcher for the table. The line was a bit long, and I had been standing there for only a few minutes before my friend breezed over to me and announced that she was going to her boyfriend's place, and since my date lived with him, he was escorting her there. They left together, leaving me to find my own way home from a neighborhood I didn't know, 10 blocks from the subway, at night. The next day, she excitedly texted to see how the date went. I never talked to either of them again, and I'm sure she has no idea why."
11."Figured out near the end of the date that he was a drug dealer. I immediately made my polite excuses and prepared to leave. He asked for a hug goodbye, and I agreed, figuring it couldn’t do any harm. While we hugged, he said, 'Mmmmmmmm' in my ear."
12."I went to a wedding and met a guy. The groom warned me that he was his coworker and super cheap. I still went on a date with him. We were supposed to meet at 7, but he wanted to meet at 5 to get happy hour prices. I couldn't, and he berated me about it. He talked about himself the whole time, and when the check came, he yelled at the waitress about splitting checks. New checks came, and he asked me if he talked about his job. I said yes, and he went over to the waitress. He split checks again, but I got all the drinks, and he got all the food so he could get reimbursed for it. My original check was $20; the new check was $30. I paid it but made sure I told him it was a dick move. Two days later, he rented a $1 movie from Redbox and invited me over if I brought over $40 of Chinese food."
13."I’ve got one: I went on a date with a guy. Dinner was fine, but when we left the restaurant, he held my hand and started to 'serenade' me. He sang an entire Michael Bublé song at the top of his voice while I just stood there gobsmacked. When he was done, I started to say something polite, like, 'Oh, that was nice,' but he cut me off and launched into a second song. I didn’t take him up on his offer to drive me home."
14."I met a woman through some work friends when I was single in my mid-20s. We seemed to have a lot in common and kind of hit it off, so I asked her out, and she agreed. I met her at a restaurant (at her request, which was fine), and shortly after, we ordered some drinks at the bar while waiting for our table. For some reason, it's like someone flipped a switch, and she started to take exception to everything I said, which up to that point, was just safe and innocuous first date getting to know you chit chat. I made the decision after about 10 minutes of this negative interaction that it was time to bail. I asked our server for the bill, paid for the drink I had ordered (no way I was paying for hers), and told her, 'I’m not sure what’s going on with you, but I don’t want to waste any more of my time or yours, so I’m going to bid you good night.'
15."She said I wasn’t attractive enough to not be rich and get someone like her."
17."I was a few minutes late for a date (I texted to let him know) because I ran into a homeless dude I know, so I stopped to get him a sandwich and a coffee. My date rolled his eyes and made a super disrespectful comment about homelessness, and I know I was shocked."
19."We ran into his two friends at the bar where we were having our date. He introduced me as his girlfriend. We had known each other less than a week and met on Tinder. I felt awkward and uncomfortable after that, so I pretended I wasn’t feeling well and left early."
20."We had a great date at a pizza place; we drove up to look at the stars, and we were sharing a blanket. He then lets out a loud, wet-sounding fart and gives me a Dutch oven by pulling the blanket over my head to trap me in it. He held me in its way too long. It probably would’ve been funny maybe third, or fourth date, but it was soo stinky that I almost threw up the pizza. I couldn’t walk out, but I just sat out of the car for a while waiting for the smell to leave and asked him to take me back to my car. It’s funny now, but he couldn’t figure out why I refused to go on another date with him."
21."I went on a date with someone who talked for almost a full hour about how he wants to get into insect farming because it’s the way of the future, and he’d make tons of money because no one does it yet. He also told me I’m wasting my time being a special education teacher because they’ll 'never get better, why bother?' and that I should get into insect farming instead. I wish I was lying; he was the worst."
23."I ate my dessert, and he gave me his as soon as I was done (he hadn’t touched it) and prompted me to eat it. I didn’t think hard about it and figured he just didn’t want it, so I ate it. Then, he proceeded to lean over the table, rubbing my belly and telling me I looked 'so good' when I was bloated. I left when he invited me back to his house to meet his mom."
24."I went on a first date with a guy once, and we had just sat down to eat dinner and watch a movie at his house when he stood up, pulled out his flaccid *member*, and said, 'Put your mouth on it.' I laughed hysterically at the tiny dangling thing and literally ran out of there. To this day, my friends and family still refer to this story as the 'hot dog guy' because, well, you know...it looked like a Vienna sausage."
25."He started the date by talking about his ex-girlfriend for 20 minutes, then talked about politics on topics he was interested in for an hour. He then said women should be sterilized after the third child, and that was enough for me. I said I am leaving and bye. It was the longest hour and 20 minutes of my life."
26."He tried to kiss me on the lips when he greeted me. It was our first time meeting. Then, we went to a restaurant he chose. It was a vegan spot. Okay, cool, I'll try something new. But no, he spent his time talking about how evil meat eaters were. I just stayed quiet. All I had ordered was water and mozzarella sticks at this point. They came as he was mid-speech, and they were made of cashews coated in some kinda birdseed. It was at that moment I went to the bathroom and just peaced out. He messaged me for my rude departure and accused me of not liking him for being short. He did lie about his height, but I ignored that because I'm super short myself. I went to Burger King with one of my girlfriends afterward. Sorry dude, bird seed mozzarella sticks was the final straw."
27."He didn't drink alcohol yet encouraged me to (I didn't!) and later grabbed the back of my head and kissed me full on the mouth unprompted. I went to the bathroom, called a taxi, and left immediately."
28."He kept insisting that he pick me up for our date; then, when I finally agreed, he tried to drive me out to the suburbs so he 'could cook for me' instead of the local restaurant we had agreed on. I ended up flagging a cop down on the highway and getting escorted home, which was thankfully not where he had picked me up."
29."I went on a first date with a guy I knew from middle school after not seeing him for about six years or so. I picked him up, and his mom answered in her bra. The house was filthy, and when we arrived at the buffet, he said he forgot his wallet. So, I paid. He ate three plates, then demanded his money back and made a huge scene. He pocketed the money I had paid and then asked if I wanted McDonald's instead. I drove through the drive-thru, and he offered to pay with the cash he got refunded. He then suggested we go bowling, but I was desperate to be done. He asked me to buy him cigarettes and a 40, and I said no. I wasn't 21, yet he said he'd shoulder tap. I left him at the liquor store and never talked to him again. He also told me I should get implants, do porn, and invest in his drug business."