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20 Warning Signs You're Becoming English

Dear America, I hang my head in shame I'm turning British.

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1. When you thank the bus driver

Guardian Newspaper / Via

I don't know if thanking the bus driver is just courtesy, or if you're just thanking them for getting you there alive? But when you start thanking the driver as your getting off the bus, you know you're well on your way to becoming British.

2. When you start calling chips "crisps" and fries "chips"

Buzzle / Via

In American french fries are chips but in England chips are french fries. Its enough to confuse anyone, its almost like left is right and right is left. To save any major embarrassments and food order meltdowns you start to refer to the foods by the correct British terms just to save face. However, behind closed doors you will be dammed to if they are chips, they are french fries!!

3. When you make your tea the proper way / Via

Any self respecting Brit know how to make a decent cup of tea it's almost like the secret recipe is passed down from generation to generation. However it's just not shared with the world outside! The only time a Brit shares their secret tea making skills is when you some how manage to mess up pouring hot water over tea bags. At this point they must step in in order to protect the tea. When you can make a decent cup of tea that even a Brit would drink, you're well on your way to becoming British.

4. Being asked to do the tea and coffee round

Guardian Newspaper / Via

The dreaded tea and coffee round in the office is enough to strike fear in the heart of an American. Make it to strong you're a bad coffee/tea maker. Make it to weak and your putting yourself and your country to shame. Being asked to do the tea and coffee round can be a test or it can be seen as a right of passage (or just lazy people who want a free cuppa). Once your colleague will drink a cup of coffee from their American colleague you know you have arrived! Keep up the good work!!

5. When asking for a rubber it does not make you giggle

The eraser: a guide for dummies / Via

In the USA a rubber is a condom but in England a rubber is an eraser. When you can finally ask for a rubber without giggling, smiling, or bursting out into laughter you know you're finally on your way to becoming British.

6. When the word fag does not make give you a look of horror

Denmark bans smokeless cigarettes / Via

The word fag is a derogatory word in the USA and if you smoke the last thing you want to do is smoke a fag! The idea itself sends sheer terror through you. But in England a fag is a cigarette. Asking to go smoke a fag is not an invitation to commit racial homicide rather its a 10 minute excuse to not do any work.

7. You ask for a Biro

bic biro / Via

Rather than asking for a Bic or a ballpoint pen you ask for a Biro. I have spent countless hours in offices in England trying to describe sometimes using charades what a Bic pen is. To avoid hours of laughter and being the talk of the office you ask for a Biro.

8. You burn like a sausage

Daily Mail / Via

Porcelain British skin, lack of sunlight, long winters the sunny beaches of Spain start to look good when you haven't seen sunlight for almost 4 months. The second we step foot outside we sizzle like a British sausage under the broiler.

9. Buying bacon

We heart it / Via

Buying bacon can be traumatic! There are far to many different cuts, it use to be bacon or Canadian bacon, now there are like 10 choices. But you know you're well on your way to becoming British when you buy back back rather than streaky.

10. You know it's 65 Degrees out / Via Telegraph Newspaper

You know your turning British when you pack up your car, call in sick to the office and head off to the beach with your fellow countrymen on a sweltering 65 degree days!

11. You take 20 minutes signing off an email

You worry about how to sign off an email. It take 20 minutes to come up with appropriate sign off. However, when you feel comfortable signing off emails with emotions, xx or kind regards this process speeds up! You're well on your way!

12. When you are happy quing rather than standing in line

BBC London Life / Via

Rather than standing in lines, the British que. When you can finally do this without loudly moaning you're well on your way to becoming British.

13. Being able to eat overcooked veg

/ck/ - Food & Cooking / Via

Sunday dinner is not complete at the in laws unless you have yorkshire puddings, roast beef and vegetables that have been boiled for a fortnight. When you finally can stomach the taste of vegetable that disintegrate in your mouth you're well on your way to becoming British!

14. Double Trouble

Double Zero Pizza / Via Facebook: DoubleZeroPizza

When the British recite their telephone numbers, NHS numbers, or any number for that fact and there is more than one number the same its double this and treble that., its enough to send you to the crazy house. When the double this, and treble that start to make sense you're turning into one of them!

15. When seeing a box of Lucky Charms in tesco does NOT make you weep

Ocado / Via

Remember when you finally found that American section at Tesco, and your heart skipped a beat? However when you finally stop breaking down in tears or post photos of your food finds on facebook you're finally becoming one of them.. a brit.

16. When you start to accept soccer is football

Football Boot Care / Via

Your reluctant at first but you don't let it get you down. You quietly accept that European Football as 'real football' to avoid being mocked and answering a million questions. However, behind closed doors you still own your favourite football teams jersey, dog collar, and cheer on your favourite American team just quietly from your sofa in the dark with the curtains drawn!

18. When you ask for a glass of squash in the USA

BBC Sports / Via

British supermarkets are filled with aisles full of this delightful drink. Its called squash not the like gord but rather it's colourful Kool Aid like drink. This lovely flavourful drink comes in handy, even with little purse sized bottles! When you're finally brave enough to ask for a squash you know you're well on the way to being British!

19. When you travel with your own tea bags

American Candy Co. / Via

Travelling with your own tea bags is about as English as they come. There is nothing more embarrassing to your American family than taking your own teabag out of your handbag and not feeling ashamed to do it. When you travel with your own tea bags you may at well not show your face in the USA again.

20. Accepting British Spellings

Terminology of the British Isles / Via

You have arrived!

Your spelling like a Brit by adding "u's" and "o's" before words that didn't have them before! Its COLOUR not COLOR, FAVOURITE not FAVORITE! You have to admit it, you're one of them even if your house is the USA of you [insert name here] outside your home you are British.

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