1. Picking stuff out of your belly button and quietly hoping that there's even more stuff in there than there was yesterday.
2. Clipping your toenails and leaving them wherever they fall.
3. Doing this to a towel, and THEN CONTINUING TO USE IT.
4. Using your fingers to clean out between your toes and then not washing them afterwards.
5. Farting under water and then curiously investigating the smell after it breaches the surface.
6. Not covering your mouth when you sneeze, or worse, sneezing into your hand and then wiping it on the nearest convenient surface.
7. Being too lazy to blow your nose and letting snot build up until it comes out when you don't expect it.
8. Pissing in the tub while you're in it.
9. Letting your pubic hairs go everywhere in the bathroom.
10. Distributing a stinky, hot fart throughout the entire apartment.
11. Or farting into your hand just to get a better sniff of it.
12. Popping zits hard enough that you can find them on the mirror after you're done.
13. Trying to see how long you can make a strand of spittle go.
14. Blowing your nose in the shower.
15. Or pissing in the shower. Hell, probably both at the same time on a few occasions.
16. When it's especially hot outside, checking out your ass sweat with your hand and then smelling it.
17. Fondling your balls while watching TV and then grabbing the remote, like, minutes later.
18. Unapologetically pissing in a sink when there is no other option.
19. Giving your finger a quick smell after a cheap piece of toilet paper tears and your finger... slips.
20. Photographing particularly impressive turds from every possible angle to send to your friends.
21. Because when you do good work, it's okay to be proud of your accomplishments.
“@YoloJokes: Taking a picture of myself taking a poop and posting it on twitter...#YOLO”😳
This post was translated from German.