1. Sausage sizzles in hotdog buns.
THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT IS.
2. Free tomato sauce.
What do you mean I don't have to pay an extra $0.20? Is it poison?
3. Cocktails being two-for-one, and they're actually drinkable.
"Actually, the more you drink, the better it tastes," he said after 12 drinks.
4. Or finding a bottle-o with affordable booze.
Vodka for $15? I mean it sounds like the best deal of my life, but also sounds like my life will end before the vodka does.
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5. An actually good data plan.
Gotta love those texts the day before your plan renews telling you they auto-charged you for more data! GOTTA. LOVE. THAT.
6. Or your Wi-Fi working flawlessly.
Are you telling me movies are just supposed to automatically load and play without buffering? LOL, sounds fake.
7. Getting a film released in Australia before the rest of the world.
If we get it first, does it mean it's shit???
8. House hunting and finding a place that's actually nice, AND affordable.
Hahahahaha, no that is a murder house.
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9. Or even just affordable.
Hahahahaha, no. Seriously, that is a murder house.
10. Trains running on time.
Sorry I'm late but my train was - oh no one else is here either.
11. Or a train that isn't blasting a heater up your ass during summer, or air conditioned to shit during the winter.
WHICH IS IT?
12. Knowing who the prime minister is for longer than six months.
"Good government starts today!" said the first of two prime ministers less than a year ago lol.
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13. Cheap petrol.
This is just burger grease, isn't it?
14. Or cheap movie tickets.
If it doesn't cost you $80 for two tickets and a small popcorn, is it even the movies?
15. Online shopping that does free shipping Down Under.
Lmao why. what's wrong with ur stuff?
16. A band doing a full tour of the country.
"AUSTRALIAN TOUR: SYDNEY AND MELBOURNE DATES ANNOUNCED." Um.
17. And YouTube videos that aren't geoblocked.
Probably a trap.
