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Here's Everything You Missed On "My Kitchen Rules" This Week

Ship happened, and the Seafood King ate it.

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1. First up, Damo and Caz went up against Wednesday Addams and the Babadook (my queens Amy and Tyson) in a Sudden Death cook-off.

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2. During a challenge last week, Amy and Tyson fell short due to issues with a pressure cooker. SO THEY WHIPPED OUT A FUCKING PRESSURE COOKER IN THE SUDDEN DEATH.

Good move, dickheads, I can't see how this would go badly for you.
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Good move, dickheads, I can't see how this would go badly for you.

3. Caitie revealed she hadn't eaten YET ANOTHER food. This time it was fish cakes.

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4. Mark wore a pink shirt and everyone made jokes about it for some reason???

I honestly don't know why, but this was a point of conversation.
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I honestly don't know why, but this was a point of conversation.

SEVERAL TIMES.

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5. Tyson and Amy's oxtail, beef, and kidney stew was unfortunately missing the beef after it turned out super dry.

This is a reference to a Wendy's commercial from 1984. These bloody posts are so fuckin' educational, you're welcome.
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This is a reference to a Wendy's commercial from 1984. These bloody posts are so fuckin' educational, you're welcome.

6. Amy and Tyson were VERY WORRIED for this whole episode, despite their dishes always being just sliiiightly better executed than Damo and Caz.

Sadly for the Tassie two, Amy and Tyson slid by with a final score of 37/60, while Damo and Caz scored 29/60.
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Sadly for the Tassie two, Amy and Tyson slid by with a final score of 37/60, while Damo and Caz scored 29/60.

7. The next day, Colin showed up on a motorbike because the challenge was a bake sale for bikers. Colin wearing leather? YOU KNOW THIRSTY MAMA VAL LOVED IT.

Baking for 1,000 bikers was an erotic prison dream I had one time.
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Baking for 1,000 bikers was an erotic prison dream I had one time.

8. The challenge helped raise money for the Westmead Breast Cancer Institute, and the bikers were helping to raise awareness.

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9. Big Boy Joshy graciously allowed Poor Amy to take the lead in this challenge. He reminded us every five minutes, especially when things went wrong.

He also, surprisingly, never shut up. What a big man he is!!!
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He also, surprisingly, never shut up. What a big man he is!!!

10. Seriously, the two of them fought for SO MUCH of that episode, which you'd think would have been great considering they've been such good villains but it was actually just awkward.

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11. Brett and Marie are still in the competition???

I feel bad because they seem like such nice people but??? Also in literally every single episode they mention that they have kids. Like wow, Tyson may have a legitimate personality disorder and Josh could potentially be a psychopath, but please tell us about how unique it is to have kids.
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I feel bad because they seem like such nice people but??? Also in literally every single episode they mention that they have kids. Like wow, Tyson may have a legitimate personality disorder and Josh could potentially be a psychopath, but please tell us about how unique it is to have kids.

12. A lot of teams struggled with the challenge, including Amy and Tyson.

"We're not used to these challenges," they said about the very normal scenario of cooking for 1,000 bikers in a carpark.
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"We're not used to these challenges," they said about the very normal scenario of cooking for 1,000 bikers in a carpark.

13. Colin's accent made me laugh when he talked about Amy and Josh's savoury muffin.

Lmao.
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Lmao.

14. Happy hipsters Court and Duncan were the "bikers choice", meaning they won the challenge, which would have pissed off Josh... so in a small way we all won.

"Bikers choice" was my nickname in prison.
Channel 7

"Bikers choice" was my nickname in prison.

15. The footy friends, Mark and Chris, had to face off against fashion friends Caitie and Demi in the next Sudden Death showdown.

Things didn't start strong for the girls.
Channel 7

Things didn't start strong for the girls.

16. To save time, Caitie and Demi tried to make gnocchi using a food processor.

This was a super bad idea and it meant their entrée was not well-loved.
Channel 7

This was a super bad idea and it meant their entrée was not well-loved.

17. And then it was time for the mains. Both teams... um... did something.

Puke dicks anyone?
Channel 7

Puke dicks anyone?

18. During the dessert round the footy friends decided to turn a luscious-looking chocolate mousse into little turds.

As Caitie would say "people eat with their eyes", so what is this shit?
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As Caitie would say "people eat with their eyes", so what is this shit?

19. Demi was busy giving herself some spun sugar pubes.

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By the end of the round her apron looked like a sock stashed under a teen boy's bed.

20. Their desserts were... um. Let's just say at this point I was expecting the judges to send both teams home.

Mark and Chris scored 31/60 while Caitie and Demi only scored 24/60 so, sadly for me, two of my favourites left the competition.
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Mark and Chris scored 31/60 while Caitie and Demi only scored 24/60 so, sadly for me, two of my favourites left the competition.

21. Next, the teams were off to cook canapés for 150 hungry cruise ship passengers.

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22. Ships, typically, are on the ocean. So... you know what that means:

Fuckin' Aquaman over here wouldn't shut the hell up about "being in his element". Calm down, fishboy.
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Fuckin' Aquaman over here wouldn't shut the hell up about "being in his element". Calm down, fishboy.

23. Seafood King Josh and #PoorAmy were sharing a cooking station with Tyson and Amy, and BOTH TEAMS WERE COOKING PRAWNS!

This is a good joke.
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This is a good joke.

24. Married heterosexuals Brett and Marie went an entire episode WITHOUT MENTIONING THEIR KIDS!!!!!

I owe a friend $20.
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I owe a friend $20.

25. The Seafood King continued his streak of NOT BEING ABLE TO FUCKING COOK SEAFOOD.

HE BURNED ALL HIS PRAWNS, and then spent five minutes just rubbing the char off his prawns with paper towel. KING OF PAPER TOWEL.
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HE BURNED ALL HIS PRAWNS, and then spent five minutes just rubbing the char off his prawns with paper towel. KING OF PAPER TOWEL.

26. When it came time to judging, most teams were getting great feedback...

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27. Della and Tully won passengers' choice, and because Colin apparently invented beef, Big Boy Joshy decided Della and Tully had ~cheated~.

If only Josh could burn other teams as well as he burns seafood.
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If only Josh could burn other teams as well as he burns seafood.

28. The two teams whose canapés were more like can'tapés, Kelsey and Amanda and JOSH AND AMY (HAHAH), would be going to a Sudden Death elimination. But they won't be in Kitchen HQ, they'll be cooking for the judges ON THE CRUISE SHIP!

No doubt the ship hits the fan in that cook-off. See you next week!
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No doubt the ship hits the fan in that cook-off. See you next week!