Here’s Everything You Missed On “My Kitchen Rules” Week 2

RECORDS WERE BROKEN.

Missed an episode of My Kitchen Rules this week? I understand that, there's only 900 of them. This week they promised every episode would break RECORDS.

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Get your sledgehammers ready because here we GO.

Episode 1- Bek and Ash: The single ladies put a ring on it and then burnt it and then it curdled and oh god, please stop, please.

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Alright, so I wrote about the girls a LOT over here, so I'm not going to waste time rehashing everything that went down there, but if you don't want to go read that here's the short version.

For the entrée the girls served a roasted vegetable tart with a balsamic glaze. Nothing was okay about it. It was shit.

Their main, Goldband Snapper with fennel, fig, and pear salad was also a total shitfest. It took them TWO HOURS to deliver to the table, because they watched each piece of fish turn to charcoal. "I think the pan is too hot," Ash said as she continued to push burned fish around it.

Finally the girls served each person a SINGLE profiterole with orange custard and chocolate sauce. The judges talked about how much they loved the chocolate sauce which... was literally just melted chocolate.

Final score: 26/110.

Record broken: Lowest score in MKR history.

Episode 2 - Tim and Kyle: The big, burly, bearded boys and their backyard.

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Because the boys are big and have beards, everyone talked about how they expected their menu to be "blokey". You know, bloke food. Like raw meat sandwiched between a crusty old copy of Playboy. But Tim and Kyle had a surprise up their sleeves: Wanker food!

Their theme was the "Boys Backyard" because they are boys and their restaurant was in the backyard. They stuck their menus to the back of an Australian flag thong, which was troubling, but everyone looked pleasantly surprised at the calibre of food they'd be getting. Tyson and Amy almost smiled. Almost. "We're not intimidated by this," Tyson said, ripping up a photo of a puppy and a baby. "I think it's a safe starter," David added, forgetting that he and Betty fucked up every dish last week.

For the entrée the boys prepared tuna ceviche with puffed wild rice, avocado puree, and wasabi mayonnaise. Nothing really happened while they made this, except Kyle said "knob of garlic" lol. No but seriously, the boys plated up a stunning dish. Pete was trying to play it cool like, "Is this the best you can do? Because this is the best entrée we've had in this group." Meanwhile, David made this face:

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Tyson upset the table by telling everyone their food was average. "Our shit food wasn't average!!" David cried out, upset that his shit food was being called average.

For their main, the boys prepared spiced kangaroo with beetroot and walnut puree and weed salad. "I don't think many people will have had this before," Kyle said as he picked out leaves for their weed salad. Listen mate, I have a friend who did half a semester at an arts college, I've had a weed salad before if you know what I mean.

As Kyle put down Bek's main she said, "thank you baby," which was super weird. It was super duper weird. The judges loved the main. They totally blazed the competition with their weed salad. Pete loved it so much I bet he wanted to score the dish 420/10. Meanwhile, David and Betty kept complaining.

For dessert, Tim made a Key lime pie with homemade vanilla ice cream. Guess what? Everyone loved it except David and Betty. If only David and Betty hadn't made a dessert that tasted like Matcha-ass.

Final score: 100/110.

Record broken: Highest score in MKR history.

Episode 3 - Tyson and Amy: Kill the competition.

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Amy and Tyson IMMEDIATELY dedicated themselves to being the villains of group one. Surprisingly, David and Betty decided if they couldn't be the lowest scorers of the group, they'd take over being the dickheads. Still, Amy and Tyson didn't drop their standoffish attitudes.

That being said, their episode opened with them making brother/sister Bloody Marys and I really respect starting your morning off with the the right mix of vegetables and vodka.

The name of their instant restaurant as "mosaic". So... squares. There were a lot of squares. Their theme was... squares.

For their entrée, Tyson and Amy made lamb brains with cauliflower puree, Siracha aioli, and pickles.

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HERE'S THE THING, I get that Tyson and Amy were supposed to be the villains (which I've said multiple times), but it became apparent pretty quickly that they're just very serious. And the more of them we saw in their episode, the more likeable they became. I KNOW people might disagree, but remember the Bloody Marys?! They also seem like they're siblings that are... actually nice to each other? Which is always lovely to see.

When the group found out they were getting brains for an entrée they all started to make "brain puns", which meant they said the word brain in a sentence and everyone laughed, painfully.

Meanwhile, Amy and Tyson plated up a restaurant-quality entrée. The judges loved it. Betty and David's game plan for the episode was to use Tyson's own language against him, calling the dish average. "It just tasted like a chicken nugget," David said, insulting Tyson and Amy, AND me - the mayor of chicken nuggets.

For their main, Tyson and Amy made pork jowl with eggplant puree, pumpkin puree, pomme frites, and apple cider sauce. Again, everyone loved it except David and Betty. Great.

We had to spend more time talking about how Bek and Kyle should get married, and the midwives even made a joke about delivering their baby. Meanwhile Kyle had dug an escape tunnel under the table with his dessert spoon. Just kidding! They had MKR's first awkward inter-team kiss.

Finally, their dessert was a chocolate raspberry "discovery" which, as it turns out, was just some ice cream, sponge cake, marshmallow, pretzels, and raspberry. It looked amazing, and apparently tasted just as good. Everyone loved it. EVEN DAVID AND BETTY!

Final score: 102/110

Record broken: New highest score in MKR history.

Episode 4 - The elimination twist: Bek and Ash vs David and Betty.

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The ~big elimination twist~ turned out to be a cook-off between the two lowest scoring teams, Bek & Ash and David & Betty. They were judged blind by four famous chefs.

Bek and Ash decided to cook classics to prove... they can actually cook. As an entrée, they made mushroom crepes with brie sauce. For their main, they cooked venison on black rice pilaf with Cumberland sauce, and for their dessert they made biscotti with pistachio ice cream and lemon curd.

David and Betty went in another direction with an entrée of Lao raw beef salad, and a main of Mok Pah (steamed fish in banana leaf). Their dessert was chilli salt fruits with green mango and pineapple sorbets.

Neither team cooked exceptionally well, and both had a few stumbles. Interestingly enough, Amy, standing on the sidelines, kept offering really good feedback. This week was super confusing for me because I found myself really falling for Tyson and Amy. I think I love them???

David and Betty put fish sauce in every course. EVERY. COURSE. INCLUDING DESSERT. They made a "fish sauce caramel". That noise you just heard? Me casually vomiting forever.

Here's an oversimplification of what the judges said about the dishes:

Entrées: Ash and Bek's crepes were crap.

Mains: David and Betty's Mok Pah was a bit of a faux pas.

Dessert: IT WAS TOO CLOSE TO CALL! Just kidding, they were purposefully vague so we didn't know who was going home.

The final scores were incredibly close, but ultimately, Bek and Ash were the first team to be kicked out of the competition. Sad!

Next Week: We meet the second group!

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