Don’t Bother Catching Up, Here’s Everything You Missed On "My Kitchen Rules"

The hot truffle farmer and the one-star Uber driver.

My Kitchen Rules is back for another season, and because every season has approximately 9,000 episodes, we're here to cover what you might have missed this week.

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Strap in, it's been a wild week.

Episode 1: Damo and Caz - Tassie Tasmanians from Tasmania.

The first instant restaurant of the season took group one to Tasmania - where people are legally obliged to mention Tasmania every four minutes or they get kicked out, I guess. Tasmanian married Tasmanians Damo and Caz live in Tasmania. If you can't guess, for the whole episode we had to hear about Tasmanian lettuce, Tasmanian Coles, even Tasmanian truffles (more on that later).

Damo and Caz called their restaurant "Sound Check" because Damo loves music. Honestly Damo and Caz were fine in this episode, but the true star was Henry the Hot Truffle Farmer.

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Had Damo and Caz simply served a photo of Henry, a cigarette, and a glass of water I would have given them 10/10 for every course. Sadly they made actual food.

There are a LOT of people in each group so let me break it down for you.

David and Betty are JUST FRIENDS. They call each other "bro" and "sis" because they are JUST FRIENDS. They both love social media so they say "hashtag" out loud. Social media: It's for FRIENDS!

Karen and Ros are two midwives, they describe each other as breast friends. They're kinda iconic.

Bek and Ash are both young, single women. They are defined as being single women a lot. If only there was a man around to match these women to!

Tim and Kyle are both young, single men. Kyle looks like a hunky lumberjack and immediately the whole show is orchestrated around wanting Bek and Kyle to bang.

Finally, Amy and Tyson are the villains of this group. They're basically if Kathryn and Sebastian from Cruel Intentions were also part of The Addams Family. I love them because they love DRAMA.

Judges Pete and Manu waited to make their signature dramatic entrance. As it was the first night, everyone couldn't stop talking about how they really, really wanted to meet Manu. "The other one might show up too," they all thought.

Tyson and Amy took no time establishing themselves as the villains by practically whispering "we hate you all" into the mouths of the other contestants. Meanwhile Bek and Kyle made eye contact across the table and everyone shamed them for their horny, horny antics.

No one was supremely blown away by the quality of the food, but Damo and Caz were sweet enough that their charisma might have made up for it. We also found out Kyle will literally eat anyone's scraps because he is a hungry, hungry lumberjack.

Final score: 62 / 110.

Episode 2: David and Betty - "We promise we're just friends, hashtag just friends".

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Betty is an "influencer" which means she Instagrams a lot and also has a blog. I had a blog once and one time a guy at a party said, "Hey I used to read your blog! You used to be funny." So I guess Betty isn't the ONLY one who knows how to use the internet and selectively hear compliments! Because of her skills in social media, Just Friends David and Betty say "hashtag" out loud a lot and it's honestly a little stressful.

Their instant restaurant, Anchor and Palms, was inspired by two of their tattoos. David has an anchor to keep him grounded, and Betty has a palm tree to keep her standing tall and never fall. My lower back tattoo says "abandon all hope ye who enter here"- but you know what? This isn't about me.

We got a little more villain-time with Amy and Tyson, with Amy announcing she doesn't like babies, old people, or hugs. Tyson, meanwhile, sat in a corner crushing the skulls of his enemies with a tiny, ornate hammer. Just kidding! He sat at the table and complained that EVERYTHING wasn't "a competition dish". He also announced he doesn't have social media.

Bek and Kyle kept flirting from opposite ends of the table and the other teams cracked jokes about them being the first MKR wedding. It was also kinda nice to see more of Caz and Damo out of the kitchen, in terms of commentary the two of them are much more entertaining when they're not accidentally stewing steaks.

Unfortunately, David and Betty's cooking wasn't hashtag-up-to-scratch, with a super bitter Matcha dessert turning even Bek and Kyle off. It might have put a damper on our MKR Matcha!!! Haha get it? Seriously though, the judges were SUPER disappointed with their dessert, meanwhile Tyson and Amy were mopping up their tears of happiness at someone else's failure.

Final Score: 61/110.

Episode 3: Karen and Ros - Days of our Midwives.

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Karen and Ros are honestly iconic and great TV. Because they are midwives, they decided to theme their restaurant around a birthing suite. They called it "Procreations" which I think is genius. Know who hated it? Yep. Amy and Tyson. Babies? Pastels? A sense of joy? Nope, they hated it. "Is that a birthing pool?" Tyson sneered at an inflatable pool. "Disgusting". Babes, they probably got it for $9 at Target, calm your farm.

Karen and Ros' dinner was FINE. Much like Damo and Caz, the ladies unfortunately overcooked their main, which was a huge moment, and it lost them a ton of points from the judges. Tyson, however, decided to tell everyone he really loved the dish because he's A SICK AND TWISTED INDIVIDUAL.

Because night one Damo and Caz were in their kitchen the whole time, and night two David and Betty were in their kitchen, night three was the first time the two couples met. This was BRILLIANT because Damo and Caz asked if the two of them had ever dated. "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!" Betty hashtagged across the table. "JUST. FRIENDS!!!!" She screamed at David as he wiped away a solitary tear. "Yes," he whispered, "we're both totally fine with being just friends," he hissed, snapping all his cutlery in half and eating it.

After a disastrous main, Ros and Karen served a spiced pavlova which created one of the most awkward moments in MKR history: David told the table his tasted like lamb. "I think the spices, they're just making me think of lamb," he said. "It really doesn't taste like lamb," replied literally everyone else in the world.

Despite some overcooked lamb and some cracked pavs, the midwives managed to deliver the best score of the week.

Final score: 65/110.

Coming up next week:

The show promises to break an MKR recored EVERY. NIGHT. How do I know this? Because every commercial has had Manu and Pete literally smashing a pane of glass with the word "Records" on it.

I'm giving them 10/10 for subtlety.

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