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29 Times "First Dates" Australia Was The Greatest Show On Earth

So many first dates and I didn't have to put out once!

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1. When Nicholas Nicholas ordered a shot to calm his nerves and couldn't proceed with shotting it.

Channel 7

2. When we were introduced to the mega-sleazy Chris and his ~smooth~ ways.

Channel 7

"Let's get lubricated."

3. And when basically everyone was forced to dance in their introduction.

Channel 7

4. When Lauren spoke about how she's definitely not crazy.

Nope. Not crazy at all.
Channel 7

Nope. Not crazy at all.

5. And our Unicorn Queen's actual calorific obsession with butter.

Channel 7

6. When Stephanie struggled with bar etiquette.

Channel 7

7. And when she was thoroughly confused by bread.

Channel 7

Which she later clarified.

Channel 7

8. But then was also confused by the menu.

Which she never clarified.
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Which she never clarified.

9. And when she let us know this hot fact.

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OK basically ANYTHING Stephanie did because she is a fucking queen.

10. When Hayley introduced herself, and her love for "bad boys".

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11. But then fell for nice guy Chris.

THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER! ❤️
Channel 7

THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER! ❤️

12. When Lani (the professional flirt) put a napkin over her date's head so they could tell each other "secrets".

??????????
Channel 7

??????????

13. When Stephanie returned and asked, what makes them "rock oysters"?

An actual queen.
Channel 7

An actual queen.

14. When big, bulky David and all his muscles, came in and casually ordered a vodka raspberry.

Channel 7

15. When the twins appeared and had a date on the same night.

Still can't believe you didn't make them swap dates, Channel 7.
Channel 7

Still can't believe you didn't make them swap dates, Channel 7.

16. When Joel and Loann drank their body weight in tequila shots to get through their date.

Channel 7

Maybe to pretend they were still in Bali?

17. When Kate found happiness with James, his housemate, and their cat.

Channel 7

Apparently they're no longer together though. 😔

18. When Mark tried to speak in French and this was all that came out:

Same.
Channel 7

Same.

19. And when he expressed his super weird (and super not-plugged) love for Home and Away.

Channel 7

20. When Kiki and Lachlan both just wanted to change the world.

Channel 7

Not sure if that can happen on a date, guys.

21. When Bex decided she was a Tyrannosaurus rex?!

Channel 7

TYRANNOSAURUS BEX!

22. Or when she had a quick slip of the tongue with Cam the Barman.

But like.. same Cam. I also have a good ~posse~.
Channel 7

But like.. same Cam. I also have a good ~posse~.

23. And when literally no one could understand Irish Anthony.

Channel 7

24. When Tammy gave her date a “45-piece love heart” puzzle he could only solve by answering “love trivia”.

Nope. Nope.
Channel 7

Nope. Nope.

25. When Nicole rejected Matthew... and rejected him again. And again.

But they just had so much in common???
Channel 7

But they just had so much in common???

26. When Jessica told her sad sausage tale.

Channel 7

27. When Other Stephanie revealed her favourite kind of jokes and the staff were standing there listening.

Channel 7

28. When her "joke" turned out to be "vaginas look like lychees..." and Cam the bartender did this:

Channel 7

29. And when Magic Mike lived up to his name.

Channel 7

Proving that some times, first dates really can be ~magic~.