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27 Things That Are Way Too Real For Terrible Cooks

Spatula? I don't even know her.

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1. You put something in the freezer ahead of time and forget to take it out.

2. A "raw food diet" just means eating ingredients you're too lazy to actually cook.

Watch me die from eating raw pasta now cause my family has left me with no food for a week and I can't cook to save my life


6. They say a watched pot never boils, so you put it on the stove and go watch TV.

What smells like burning?? Oh, right. It's everything. :(

8. You're supposed to follow a recipe but you can't even spell it properly.

my mom is making labels but she can't spell recipes omg

SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS. I MEAN Recepies? Just show me the REESE'S. I'll eat peanut butter cups for dinner.


9. And when you actually follow every step of a recipe, ta-da! A pile of slop!

11. You decide to do something simple, something NO ONE can mess up. You mess it up.

"Pasta can't catch on fire," they said. Well, you proved them wrong!

12. Your inbox is constantly blowin' up!

14. You make breakfast AGAIN and you're like, "Hope you enjoy your pancakes scrambled!"

I messed up sooo scrambled pancakes it is

16. When you make your favourite food at home it's more effort and less tasty.


19. You never cook with chillies because if you do, you can never pee or touch your eyes again.

I will always remember today as the day I cooked dinner, rubbed my eyes, and then learned that jalapeños are NATURE'S PEPPER SPRAY.

20. You consider "puncture both sides of the plastic cover" to be gourmet cooking.


"Let stand for one minute before removing plastic." LOL no. I am a very busy person. Please stop shouting at me???


21. You constantly daydream about marrying a professional chef so you never have to cook again.

22. You talk to yourself like you're on a cooking show...while preparing your ramen.

"Thanks for tuning in today, we're going to make one of my absolute favourites!"


25. You know this feeling WAY too well:

I'll just add a dash of whatever dried crap this is, and – oh, OK, that's the entire box. Thank god I have 10 pizza places on speed-dial.

26. "I'm in a rush, so I'll just turn the oven up super high to cook it quicker!"

Why would you do this to me, science? Why???