Buzz·Updated on 1 Sep 2020. Posted on 30 Nov 201621 Gifts No One Ever Asked For That You Can Get On AmazonThe perfect gift guide for the worst gifts.by Mat WhiteheadBuzzFeed Staff, AustraliaFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Bronzed Door Knocker With Balls by Doorballs amazon.com For that friend who loves a good bang up against the door. $199.99 USD. 2. BigMouth Inc Happy Birthday Toilet Paper amazon.com For that friend who wipes their rear once a year. $8.99. 3. Acupuncture Pig Model jiajianchina.en.made-in-china.com For that friend who CANNOT stop talking about pig acupuncture. $35. 4. Thumbs Up! Glow in The Dark Toilet Paper amazon.com For that friend who is always taking a dump in total darkness. $6.92. 5. Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55-Gallon Drum amazon.com For that friend who loves to just sit in a 55-gallon drum of lube. $1,336.20. 6. Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes amazon.com For that friend you probably also gave a 55-gallon drum of lube to. $19.44 paperback, $7.75 Kindle. 7. 1 Pack Pocket-sized Disposable Restroom Poncho amazon.com For that friend who knows when to hold 'em, and when to shit in a disposable restroom poncho. $9.85. 8. Jesus Action Figure Deluxe amazon.com For that friend who has a passion for the Father, the Son, and the glow-in-the-dark hands feature. $37.70. 9. Ultraviolet Flashlight Pet Dog and Cat Urine Stains Detector amazon.com For that friend whose house always stinks of dog and cat piss but they can never find WHERE the dog and cat piss is. $9.99. 10. Orcon LB-C1500 Live Ladybugs, Approximately 1,500 Count amazon.com For that friend who is always looking for approximately 1,500 live ladybugs. $19. 11. Dancing with Jesus: Featuring a Host of Miraculous Moves amazon.com For that friend who always looks out of place on the Last Supper dance floor. $9.64. 12. Basic Geri Nursing Skills Geriatric Training Manikin amazon.com For that friend who's always looking for a little more practice. $1,350. 13. Macho Man Randy Savage Jesus Cotton Pillow cover 20x30 Inches amazon.com For that friend who wants to rest their head on a holy smackdown. $5. 14. Scream Jar Voice Silencer Stress Releaser amazon.com For that friend who's always looking for new ways to relieve stress, and new things to scream into. $58.11. 15. The Purrfect DVD - Cat Entertainment Video amazon.com For that friend whose cat thought the Gilmore Girls reunion wasn't that great. $11.14. 16. Fuloon Shampoo Soap Dispenser Bath Shower Gel Foam of Woman Breast Shape amazon.com For that friend who wants a really hands-on showering experience. $32. 17. Face Slimmer amazon.com For that friend who can't afford botox, hates wrinkles, and wants to look shocked all the time. $2.44. 18. I didn't fart my ass blew you a kiss 11OZ Coffee Mug amazon.com For that friend who really wants you to know they didn't fart while enjoying their morning coffee. $12.99. 19. Zagone Studios Goosh Pants amazon.com For that friend who has always wanted to look like they've pissed and shit their pants, but never wants to commit to ACTUALLY pissing and shitting their pants. $29.95. 20. Flair Hair Men's Number 1 Dad With Hair amazon.com For that friend who always wants to go to Flavourtown. $24.99. 21. Diseases Caused by Masturbation amazon.com For that friend who needs to get a grip. $9.99 paperback, $4.07 Kindle.