go to content

Here Are The 7 Things You Need To Know About "The Bachelorette" Australia Premiere

Oh god, here we go again.

Posted on

1. We met Georgia Love.

Network Ten

This year's Bachelorette is none other than Georgia Love. Her last name is Love. We are planning to make approximately 900,000 jokes about this. You WILL have heard all of them. Also good to note early that Georgia's father, Dr Love, is a penile implant surgeon.

Georgia said she couldn't wait for this next chapter to begin, and for her to meet her "forever person".

2. The Bachelors arrived and there were a LOT of gifts.

Network Ten

Cam the hot firefighter was first out of the limos, and he and Georgia had so much chemistry, she greeted him with the warmth of an airline hostess.

Jake was next, and I got him in the office sweep so I want him to win. I mean he and Georgia had a lot of sparks?!?! Who cares, I need the money.

Rhys was next and he thought he would impress Georgia by telling her something in French. He said "I have nothing to say and this is a strategy," forgetting the French word for "strategy" is "stratégie". Also Georgia speaks French.

Courtney was next in an electric blue suit and he gave her a pasta bracelet he made at home.

Dale gave her a rose (Dale doesn't know the rules of the show).

Ryan gave her a sailing survival kit.

Matty J gave her a mixtape.

Carlos gave her a Tiffany bracelet!!

I want to be the next Bachelorette so I can get all these free gifts?!

3. A DUDE SHOWED UP WITH A DONKEY.

Network Ten

Lee, the hot DILF of the show, showed up with a donkey so that he could make a pun. There are two things I like in life: DILFs and puns. Well, DILFs, puns, and pizza. DILFs, puns, pizza, and drinking. So four things. BUT HE TICKED TWO OF THOSE BOXES.

We then had a montage of dudes you won't need to remember for another few weeks.

4. We met the wildcard, the beard, and the villain.

Network Ten

Ben was insane and told Georgia he "did three nervous poos". That, surprisingly, wasn't a great icebreaker.

Fancy Clancy showed up with a gorgeous ginger beard and offered Georgia the chance to shave it off. Bad idea, Fancy.

Finally, Sam was the last to arrive. We saw clips of Sam on a motorbike while rock music played, it was subtle but something tells me he's the ~bad boy~ of the group. He asked Georgia several questions, like does she put pineapple on her pizza, does she prefer rugby or soccer, and whether she puts her tomato sauce in the fridge. They disagreed on everything. It was awesome.

5. We met the first impression rose, and hated the name.

Network Ten

Osher showed up to the Hunger Games - I mean the cocktail party, and introduced the boys to the First Impression Rose (just call it the orange rose m8). The First Impression Rose was not only a mouthful, but it came with The Golden Date Card.

The Golden Date card gives the chosen bachelor the ability to plan the dates for a whole week, plus the chance to pick which of the boys will be on the group date for that particular week.

6. Georgia stacked it like a wonderful, relatable dickhead.

Network Ten

As she entered the cocktail party, Georgia fell down the stairs managing to not spill much of her drink LIKE A TRUE AUSSIE HERO.

What followed was a series of unfortunate events. Bros tried to out-bro each other (except for Rhys and Aaron, who became fast friends and decided to just chat to each other instead of Georgia) and we got to know a bit more about the early favourites (Jake, Lee, Courtney, and Sam). Fancy Clancy actually let Georgia shave his beard off. Ugh. He looked fine without it, but ugh. I miss the beard you guys. I miss the beautiful beard.

7. Roses were handed out, and some people didn't get them. :(

Network Ten

Courtney got the First Impression Rose because he's incredibly handsome and is also a television presenter. Me, a cynic?! How dare you.

Everyone else got a regular rose EXCEPT Carlos and Dale. Dale was really sweet, and said literally one sentence the entire episode. Carlos was an ethnic minority and the show just can't have that kind of diversity for too long.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss