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Let Your Sex Face Determine Your 2016 Resolution

Here cums 2016!

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Let Your Sex Face Determine Your 2016 Resolution

You got: Buy a burrito once a week!

This is important - 2016 is the year you need to be chowing down on a burrito at LEAST once a week. Why? Why the FUCK NOT?!

Buy a burrito once a week! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
Cartoon Network
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You got: Stop tweeting "dad" to the Pope!

Look, we get it, that's one fine-ass Pope, but 2016 should be a time for new beginnings. Stop trying to slide into Il Papa's DMs.

Stop tweeting "dad" to the Pope!
Thinkstock
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You got: No more Netflix binge-watching!

Going outside is the new black! Be a Daredevil and stop watching every damn episode the moment it's released, even if you're Jessica Jones-ing for a fix. Call your family. They want to hear from you... and not because you just finished House of Cards for the 19th time.

No more Netflix binge-watching! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
Netflix
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You got: Quit saying "Netflix and Chill"!

Please, just leave this in 2015. It's time.

Quit saying "Netflix and Chill"! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
Netflix
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You got: Stop thirst-following on Instagram!

We've all been there, some damn fine specimen seems to wander into your Insta timeline and BAM you're following them even if they're always confusing "your" for "you're". Treat yourself better.

Stop thirst-following on Instagram!
Thinkstock
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You got: Learn a language!

SPECIFICALLY Klingon. It might be niche, but it'll get all the boys at Space Camp absolutely frothing for you. be'Hom Suq 'oH!

Learn a language! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
CBS
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You got: Stop talking about Fight Club!

DID YOU FORGET RULES ONE AND TWO?! 2016 is the year you FINALLY stop talking about Fight Club! Don't hashtag it, don't check in there... just DON'T. TALK. ABOUT. IT. Now tweet this result to your friends.

Stop talking about Fight Club! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
20th Century Fox
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You got: Pet every puppy!

2016 is the year for you! Make the most of it by petting EVERY PUPPY YOU SEE!! Travel more. Pet foreign puppies. All of them. I believe in you.

Pet every puppy! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
youtube.com
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You got: Get in a fight with a centaur AND WIN!

You may not have had the best luck battling mythical creatures this year but 2016 is your time to shine! Find yourself a bitch-ass centaur and WIN IN A BATTLE OF STRENGTH! You can do it!

Get in a fight with a centaur AND WIN! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
Disney Channel
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You got: Get adopted by the Kardashians!

This isn't too difficult so long as you have an app, a clothing line and a few bajillion dollars spare. You're already on your way to joining the most profitable family on the planet!

Get adopted by the Kardashians! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
E!
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You got: Follow DJ Khaled on Snapchat.

What, are you literally the last person NOT following DJ Khaled?! That's fine, because in 2016 you'll find the true meaning of life is gardening and getting lost at sea on a jet ski in the middle of the night. You're so welcome.

Follow DJ Khaled on Snapchat. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
We The Best / via rapgifs.tumblr.com
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You got: Stop liking 200-week-old Instagrams!

2016 is the year this ends. YES, bae uploaded a super cute selfie 232 weeks ago but it does NOT need another like!!! Be strong, this is your year!

Stop liking 200-week-old Instagrams!
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Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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