Recently, my roommate convinced me to join David Barton Gym. While I was perusing the course catalogue of fitness classes, I was alarmed by the offerings — but became only more determined to conquer them. Below are a few samples:
1. "Yoga for Jocks"
2. "Pain & Pleasure"
3. "Lift & Tuck"
4. "Blood, Sweat’n Tears"
What the class description says: "High repetition/explosive exercises and intense cardio movements will be integrated with boxing drills. This class will challenge your body and push you to your limits—or tears!"
What it actually sounds like: High school P.E. class.
5. "Pressure Cooker"
6. "Lean & Mean"
7. "ASSolutely ABBulous"
What the class description says: "Effective movements target the quads, glutes and hammies plus the best ab training exercises to reorganize the junk in your trunk and create a sexy six-pack."
What it actually sounds like: An Absolutely Fabulous episode where Edina and Patsy go to a club with go-go boys on the bar.
10. "Muscle Playground"
11. "Rapid Fire"
12. "Rope Burn"
13. "Fusion Sculpt"
What the class description says: "Blending traditional sculpt with medicine ball training and balance, this class will challenge you to get to the next level with your fitness goals."
What it actually sounds like: A Yu-Gi-Oh! card that combines your monsters to create a new one in lieu of "Polymerization."