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    26 Signs You're Hopelessly Obsessed With Starbucks

    Hi! Can I please get an iced quad soy hazelnut latté and the rest of my life savings back?

    1. You wake up and the first thing you think about is Starbucks/liquid gold coursing through your veins.

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    2. So you plan your day around that single latté/frap/Americano/etc.

    3. Or two, three, or four of them.

    4. You've racked up so many drinks, you could be a Starbucks Gold member twice over.

    5. And you use the Starbucks app more often than you text.

    6. You don't even blink at the double-digit price of your drink.

    7. Since you have an oral fixation that can only be satiated by those decadent green straws.

    8. You have severe physical reactions whenever someone suggests grabbing a coffee NOT at Starbucks.

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    9. Your tastebuds automatically reject anything else.


    10. And you shun everyone else who thinks they're too good for the bronze ambrosia.

    11. You'd sooner boycott a store than get rid of your Starbucks when they say you can't come in with your drink.

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    12. But if you really have to, your body is more than ready to chug it all in one go.

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    13. You've actually finished a trenta-sized drink and legitimately thought it wasn't enough.

    14. You count down the minutes to the next chance you can make a Starbucks run.

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    15. And you will knock down anyone who stands in your way.

    16. You mark your calendar based on the seasonal drinks menu.

    17. You remember the exact place and time when you had your very first cup.

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    18. And you take pride whenever you convert someone to the Gospel of the Green Siren.

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    19. A matching order of iced hazelnut soy lattés is the only thing that'll quell a war between you and your frenemies.

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    20. Whenever you need A Moment, your first instinct is to head for the nearest Starbucks.

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    21. You have a deep personal relationship with your favorite baristas.

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    22. And you have sincere day-to-day conversations with them.

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    23. You don't even care if they ever destroy your personal identity.

    24. Because entering this visual-aural-olfactory cacophony is like stepping into a five-star spa.

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    25. And single sip from a Starbucks drink will take your day from bad to incomparably stellar.

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    26. You've accepted it. It's not just a brand. It's a lifestyle.