1. Dumbledore's Army FMK: Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, or Neville Longbottom?
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Fuck?
Ginny Weasley
Luna Lovegood
Neville LongbottomCorrect!Wrong!Have a fling with Luna! While she LOVESGOOD, we all know who we really want to marry...
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Marry?
Ginny Weasley
Luna Lovegood
Neville LongbottomCorrect!Wrong!Marry Neville! Because HNNGGLAKDJFG and you can pass on those anti-puberty genes to your kids.
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Kill?
Ginny Weasley
Luna Lovegood
Neville LongbottomCorrect!Wrong!Kill Ginny. WHAT A MARY-SUE.*
*You know, an unrealistically perfect little bitch. NEXT!
2. Triwizard FMK: Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour, or Cedric Diggory?
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Fuck?
Viktor Krum
Fleur Delacour
Cedric DiggoryCorrect!Wrong!Fuck Krum. Not quite marriage material, but it'll be a fun ride on his broomstick haaaay.
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Marry?
Viktor Krum
Fleur Delacour
Cedric DiggoryCorrect!Wrong!Huge toss-up but marry Fleur. Her devotion to Bill even after he gets mauled by a werewolf is what lasting marriages are made of.
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Kill?
Viktor Krum
Fleur Delacour
Cedric DiggoryCorrect!Wrong!Kill the spare. Sorry, but he'll come back as a glittery vampire anyway, so we're good.
3. Weasleys FMK: Bill, Fred, or George?
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Fuck?
Bill Weasley
Fred Weasley
George WeasleyCorrect!Wrong!Fuck Fred — before he dies. :'(
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Marry?
Bill Weasley
Fred Weasley
George WeasleyCorrect!Wrong!Marry George. Even though he'll never get over Fred's death, you'll still have a fun hubby around.
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Kill?
Bill Weasley
Fred Weasley
George WeasleyCorrect!Wrong!Kill Bill. If only for that movie pun. (Also he's boring, sry.)
4. Marauders FMK: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, or Peter Pettigrew?
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Fuck?
Remus Lupin
Sirius Black
Peter PettigrewCorrect!Wrong!Someone will say, "Are you fucking serious?" and you'll go, "HAHAHA YES I AM, WHAT OF IT?"
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Marry?
Remus Lupin
Sirius Black
Peter PettigrewCorrect!Wrong!Marry Lupin. Every month is a HONEY-MOON hehehe.
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Kill?
Remus Lupin
Sirius Black
Peter PettigrewCorrect!Wrong!lol are we really discussing this
5. Professors FMK: Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, or Minerva McGonagall?
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Fuck?
Severus Snape
Albus Dumbledore
Minerva McGonagallCorrect!Wrong!Fuck Albus. After all, he's got the most powerful wand in the world*~*~
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Marry?
Severus Snape
Albus Dumbledore
Minerva McGonagallCorrect!Wrong!Just marry McG because if you tried to marry Snape (yes, bravest man ever known), he'd just never get over Lily. :/
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Kill?
Severus Snape
Albus Dumbledore
Minverva McGonagallCorrect!Wrong!Kill Snape. It's better that way; he'll get to hang out with Lily!
6. Ghost FMK: Nearly Headless Nick, Moaning Myrtle, or Helena Ravenclaw?
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Fuck?
Nearly Headless Nick
Moaning Myrtle
Helena RavenclawCorrect!Wrong!Hit and quit the Grey Lady. Yeah she's moody, but what a BABE.
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Marry?
Nearly Headless Nick
Moaning Myrtle
Helena RavenclawCorrect!Wrong!Can't give you head since he barely has his own, but he'll keep you hilarious company for all eternity.
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Kill?
Nearly Headless Nick
Moaning Myrtle
Helena RavenclawCorrect!Wrong!Whiney, nosy, and loud, you gotta kill Myrtle. Well, not that you can. (She's dead, you see.)
7. Defense Against the Dark Arts FMK: Quirrell, Lockhart, or Umbridge?
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Fuck?
Quirinus Quirrell
Gilderoy Lockhart
Dolores UmbridgeCorrect!Wrong!Fuck Quirrell! He's pretty cute, and with back-o'-yo-head Voldie in the mix, it's a two for one!*
*Other jokes were something about lots of head and a silvery substance to drink but like, no.
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Marry?
Quirinus Quirrell
Gilderoy Lockhart
Dolores UmbridgeCorrect!Wrong!Marry Lockhart, the idiotic pretty boy trophy husband. Think of all the book royalties!
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Kill?
Quirinus Quirrell
Gilderoy Lockhart
Dolores UmbridgeCorrect!Wrong!Kill Umbridge because you're a Muggle and she wants to kill you anyway.
8. Order of the Phoenix FMK: Kingsley, Tonks, or Mad-Eye Moody?
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Fuck?
Kingsley Shacklebolt
Nymphadora Tonks
Mad-Eye MoodyCorrect!Wrong!Fuck Kingsley because every part of his bod is sure to be kingly, m i rite?
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Marry?
Kingsley Shacklebolt
Nymphadora Tonks
Mad-Eye MoodyCorrect!Wrong!Marry Tonks! Keep your fingers crossed that her Metamorphmagus genes will carry over to your kids!
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Kill?
Kingsley Shacklebolt
Nymphadora Tonks
Mad-Eye MoodyCorrect!Wrong!Kill Mad-Eye — or should I say, BARTY CROUCH JR.?!
9. Death Eaters FMK: Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, or Bellatrix Lestrange?
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Fuck?
Lucius Malfoy
Narcissa Malfoy
Bellatrix LestrangeCorrect!Wrong!Fuck Bellatrix! Crazy in life? Crazy IN BED.
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Marry?
Lucius Malfoy
Narcissa Malfoy
Bellatrix LestrangeCorrect!Wrong!Marry Cissy. Anyone who defies the Dark Lord out of love for her son is marriage and mommy material.
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Kill?
Lucius Malfoy
Narcissa Malfoy
Bellatrix BlackCorrect!Wrong!Then kill Lucius so Narcissa and you can get the Manor and the money!
10. Voldemort FMK: Tom Riddle, You-Know-Who, or the weird fetus thing at King's Cross?
