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14 Magical Rounds Of Harry Potter "F@#K, Marry, Kill"

Perhaps one of the most heated debates since the Goblin Rebellions Of 1612.

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Matt Ortile
Matt Ortile
BuzzFeed Staff
Matt Ortile / Courtesy of Warner Bros.

1. Dumbledore's Army FMK: Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, or Neville Longbottom?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ginny Weasley
    Ginny Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Luna Lovegood
    Luna Lovegood
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Neville Longbottom
    Neville Longbottom
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Have a fling with Luna! While she LOVESGOOD, we all know who we really want to marry...

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ginny Weasley
    Ginny Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Luna Lovegood
    Luna Lovegood
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Neville Longbottom
    Neville Longbottom
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Marry Neville! Because HNNGGLAKDJFG and you can pass on those anti-puberty genes to your kids.

  1. Kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ginny Weasley
    Ginny Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Luna Lovegood
    Luna Lovegood
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Neville Longbottom
    Neville Longbottom
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Kill Ginny. WHAT A MARY-SUE.*

    *You know, an unrealistically perfect little bitch. NEXT!

2. Triwizard FMK: Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour, or Cedric Diggory?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Viktor Krum
    Viktor Krum
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fleur Delacour
    Fleur Delacour
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cedric Diggory
    Cedric Diggory
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Fuck Krum. Not quite marriage material, but it'll be a fun ride on his broomstick haaaay.

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Viktor Krum
    Viktor Krum
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fleur Delacour
    Fleur Delacour
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cedric Diggory
    Cedric Diggory
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Huge toss-up but marry Fleur. Her devotion to Bill even after he gets mauled by a werewolf is what lasting marriages are made of.

  1. Kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Viktor Krum
    Viktor Krum
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fleur Delacour
    Fleur Delacour
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cedric Diggory
    Cedric Diggory
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Kill the spare. Sorry, but he'll come back as a glittery vampire anyway, so we're good.

3. Weasleys FMK: Bill, Fred, or George?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bill Weasley
    Bill Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fred Weasley
    Fred Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    George Weasley
    George Weasley
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Fuck Fred — before he dies. :'(

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bill Weasley
    Bill Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fred Weasley
    Fred Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    George Weasley
    George Weasley
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Marry George. Even though he'll never get over Fred's death, you'll still have a fun hubby around.

  1. Kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bill Weasley
    Bill Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fred Weasley
    Fred Weasley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    George Weasley
    George Weasley
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Kill Bill. If only for that movie pun. (Also he's boring, sry.)

4. Marauders FMK: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, or Peter Pettigrew?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Remus Lupin
    Remus Lupin
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sirius Black
    Sirius Black
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Peter Pettigrew
    Peter Pettigrew
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Someone will say, "Are you fucking serious?" and you'll go, "HAHAHA YES I AM, WHAT OF IT?"

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Remus Lupin
    Remus Lupin
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sirius Black
    Sirius Black
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Peter Pettigrew
    Peter Pettigrew
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Marry Lupin. Every month is a HONEY-MOON hehehe.

  1. Kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Remus Lupin
    Remus Lupin
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sirius Black
    Sirius Black
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Peter Pettigrew
    Peter Pettigrew
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    lol are we really discussing this

5. Professors FMK: Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, or Minerva McGonagall?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Severus Snape
    Severus Snape
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Albus Dumbledore
    Albus Dumbledore
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Minerva McGonagall
    Minerva McGonagall
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Fuck Albus. After all, he's got the most powerful wand in the world*~*~

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Severus Snape
    Severus Snape
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Albus Dumbledore
    Albus Dumbledore
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Minerva McGonagall
    Minerva McGonagall
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Just marry McG because if you tried to marry Snape (yes, bravest man ever known), he'd just never get over Lily. :/

  1. Kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Severus Snape
    Severus Snape
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Albus Dumbledore
    Albus Dumbledore
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Minverva McGonagall
    Minverva McGonagall
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Kill Snape. It's better that way; he'll get to hang out with Lily!

6. Ghost FMK: Nearly Headless Nick, Moaning Myrtle, or Helena Ravenclaw?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nearly Headless Nick
    Nearly Headless Nick
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Moaning Myrtle
    Moaning Myrtle
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Helena Ravenclaw
    Helena Ravenclaw
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Hit and quit the Grey Lady. Yeah she's moody, but what a BABE.

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nearly Headless Nick
    Nearly Headless Nick
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Moaning Myrtle
    Moaning Myrtle
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Helena Ravenclaw
    Helena Ravenclaw
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Can't give you head since he barely has his own, but he'll keep you hilarious company for all eternity.

  1. Kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nearly Headless Nick
    Nearly Headless Nick
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Moaning Myrtle
    Moaning Myrtle
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Helena Ravenclaw
    Helena Ravenclaw
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Whiney, nosy, and loud, you gotta kill Myrtle. Well, not that you can. (She's dead, you see.)

7. Defense Against the Dark Arts FMK: Quirrell, Lockhart, or Umbridge?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Quirinus Quirrell
    Quirinus Quirrell
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gilderoy Lockhart
    Gilderoy Lockhart
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Dolores Umbridge
    Dolores Umbridge
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Fuck Quirrell! He's pretty cute, and with back-o'-yo-head Voldie in the mix, it's a two for one!*

    *Other jokes were something about lots of head and a silvery substance to drink but like, no.

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Quirinus Quirrell
    Quirinus Quirrell
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gilderoy Lockhart
    Gilderoy Lockhart
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Dolores Umbridge
    Dolores Umbridge
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Marry Lockhart, the idiotic pretty boy trophy husband. Think of all the book royalties!

  1. Kill?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Quirinus Quirrell
    Quirinus Quirrell
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gilderoy Lockhart
    Gilderoy Lockhart
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Dolores Umbridge
    Dolores Umbridge
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Kill Umbridge because you're a Muggle and she wants to kill you anyway.

8. Order of the Phoenix FMK: Kingsley, Tonks, or Mad-Eye Moody?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.
Courtesy of Warner Bros.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Kingsley Shacklebolt
    Kingsley Shacklebolt
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nymphadora Tonks
    Nymphadora Tonks
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mad-Eye Moody
    Mad-Eye Moody
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Fuck Kingsley because every part of his bod is sure to be kingly, m i rite?

  1. Marry?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Kingsley Shacklebolt
    Kingsley Shacklebolt
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nymphadora Tonks
    Nymphadora Tonks
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mad-Eye Moody
    Mad-Eye Moody
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Marry Tonks! Keep your fingers crossed that her Metamorphmagus genes will carry over to your kids!