28 Of The Weirdest Things Families Have Said To LGBT Relatives
"What's scissoring?" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Heads-up: sexual language ahead!)
1. "My cousin asked me how a penis goes into another penis." —Jericho Trinidad (via Facebook)
2. "When I came out to my grandma, she asked, 'Does it hurt?'" —Matthew Rivera (via Facebook)
3. "Mom: So your dad and I talked. We decided if you get pregnant you have to keep the baby.
Me: Mom, I'm dating another girl. We are both girls. If I become pregnant, I will most definitely keep this miracle baby.
Mom: Oh. Well…you don't want a buzzcut, do you?" —bryanap2
4. "My grandma asked me if it was because she bought me a cardboard cutout of Katniss Everdeen (aka JLaw) for Christmas three years ago." —madisong4f0fe672d
5. "'What exact moment did you realise you were gay?' Gee, I dunno, but I can definitely tell you the moment I realised you're a prick. Also, ''You must know every song by Britney/Lady Gaga/Madonna/Cher etc, right?'" —Michael Beales (via Facebook)
6. "Me: I'm a lesbian.
Great Aunt Ruth: Oh! So, do you pee standing up?" —Leah Kinney (via Facebook)
7. "Someone said, 'Maybe you should just take birth control. Hormones make a big difference.'" —Jvd
8. "When I came out to my very Southern parents as in a relationship with another woman, one of my mom's first responses was, 'Oh, well, I knew this was coming…because you got that 'thing' in your nose…' referring to the nose stud I got a few months before." —kslisenby
9. "I was married to my partner in 2008, and sadly we split up only six months later. The split was, of course, painful and devastating for me. When I saw my family the following holiday season, I was met with, 'Well, maybe this means you should just be with a man?'" —Summer Waldron (via Facebook)
10. "'Do you have AIDS?' Asked every time I visit." —cyleh
11. "Me: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: Is this going to cost me any more money?
Me: What? No!
Dad: Well, then I'm happy for you!
Me: Mom, I have something to tell you. I'm gay.
Mom: Oh, good! I've always wanted a shopping buddy!" —BlueUtopia
12. "'Well, I suppose it is quite fashionable at the moment' — her own way of saying it's only a phase!" —Callum Wright (via Facebook)
13. "After I came out, my mom asked me if I would be happy just being alone because I would be basically attracted to myself..." —Kelsey Powers (via Facebook)
14. "'How's your roommate?' — My girlfriend's dad asking about me." —ak4d7
15. "I'm a lesbian. My little sister asked me, 'So if you're gay and your wife is gay, won't your kids be gay?'" —Charlie Butch (via Facebook)
16. "When I came out as bisexual to my family, everyone kind of nodded and went about their day. My 94-year-old great-grandmother didn't know what I meant. The only way I could think to explain it to her was, 'Grandma, I like Adam AND Eve…' Her response was, 'How can you get married to two people? That seems complicated.'" —elizabethashleym2
17. "My mum: 'Make sure you're careful, because I knew this woman once who let her husband try anal and now she can't poo properly.'" —StolChan
18. "'Since you're gay, do you still get your period?' Yes, my homosexuality defies nature." —aNYthing
19. "My mother said, 'I've been searching through gay dating websites and I've made a list of guys I think you should ask out.'" —Tom Mohr (via Facebook)
20. "One afternoon, my mom comes into the living room and asks, 'Today, I heard that lesbians like scissoring. What is that?' What made it even worse was while I was awkwardly trying to explain it to her, my stepdad was laughing uncontrollably from the kitchen." —Kym92
21. "My family is from Venezuela, and I'm first-generation born in the States. When I came out, one of my aunts asked, 'Does this mean you only date white guys?' Apparently being gay is a white American thing." —Santiago Vasquez (via Facebook)
22. "'So you're learning at college how to be gay?' Yes, Dad. That's what your money for tuition is going toward." —Nico Zeigler (via Facebook)
23. "'Someone said, 'Have you seen the doctor; are they sure?'" —Eric Huang (via Facebook)
24. "My mom walked in on me while I got my ass eaten out by my boyfriend back then… She asked the next day, 'What did that feel like? Have you licked his, too?'" —gaynonymous
25. "My cousin said that in order for you to be lesbian, you have to read Playboy. He is mistaken." —SHairball9
26. "Shortly after coming out, we were at a restaurant and my mom asked me, 'Do you think the waiter is gay?' My brother interrupted and said, 'You can't just blatantly ask that!' My mom's response was, 'Why not? He has a gaydar. Right?'" —Novak1328
27. "Me: I'm gay.
Mom: I know! Your sister can be your surrogate!
Me: I don't think the issue is a lack of mothers.
Mom: Oh, wait, I got confused." —Abby Brinn (via Facebook)
28. "My mom asked me if 'shoes without socks' were a gay thing. To be fair, she asked because she saw Nate Berkus wearing shoes without socks. Also because yes, basically. She also asked me what 'sodomy' meant because Oprah was talking about it. Basically the Oprah Empire has caused my mother more gay confusion than I have." —Matt Bellassai