10 Sexually Frustrating Rounds Of Celebrity "F#@k, Marry, Kill"

AKA the 10 most heated debates you and your best friends will EVER HAVE.

Matt Ortile

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There are no right or wrong answers but let’s PRETEND there are. LET’S GO.

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1. The Ryans: Gosling, Reynolds, or Kwanten?

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ALREADY CAN’T DEAL. UNF.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      Gosling
   2. 
      Reynolds
   3. 
      Kwanten
   Fuck Kwanten. Because LOOK AT HIM.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      Gosling
   2. 
      Reynolds
   3. 
      Kwanten
   Marry Gosling. Because you’re only human.

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      Gosling
   2. 
      Reynolds
   3. 
      Kwanten
   Get rid of Reynolds. Because if he can’t make it work with ScarJo, there’s something wrong.

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2. The Jessicas: Alba, Biel, or Chastain?

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Ladies omfg. Ladies STAHP.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      Alba
   2. 
      Biel
   3. 
      Chastain
   Well, ALBA-damned! You wanna fuck Alba haaaay.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      Alba
   2. 
      Biel
   3. 
      Chastain
   Marry Chastain. Your kids will be the most gorgeous in kindergarten.

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      Alba
   2. 
      Biel
   3. 
      Chastain
   That leaves Biel. But she’ll be fine; she’s married to Justin Timberlake for god’s sake.

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3. The Jo(h)ns: Hamm, Krasinski, or Stamos?

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AGH NO I CAN’T.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      Hamm
   2. 
      Krasinski
   3. 
      Stamos
   Fuck Stamos! He’s like the Chanel No. 5 of men, such a classic.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      Hamm
   2. 
      Krasinski
   3. 
      Stamos
   Get hitched to Krasinski. Mom and Dad will LOVE HIM.

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      Hamm
   2. 
      Krasinski
   3. 
      Stamos
   Ditch Hamm. It’s Don Draper! He’ll land on his feet.

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4. The Jennifers: Hudson, Lawrence, or Lopez?

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DON’T MAKE ME PICK.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      Hudson
   2. 
      Lawrence
   3. 
      Lopez
   Get it with JHud! Didn’t win American Idol, but WINS MY HEART.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      Hudson
   2. 
      Lawrence
   3. 
      Lopez
   Marry JLaw! Let’s just say it: she’s the female Gosling.

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      Hudson
   2. 
      Lawrence
   3. 
      Lopez
   Gotta leave JLo in the dust then, sry.

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5. The Michaels: B. Jordan, Fassbender, or Cera?

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But like they’re all so different HOW WOULD YOU DO THIS.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      B. Jordan
   2. 
      Fassbender
   3. 
      Cera
   Fuck Fassy because unfunfunfugggghhhh.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      B. Jordan
   2. 
      Fassbender
   3. 
      Cera
   Marry Mr. B. Jordan, y’all! He looks delish in a tux, so.

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      B. Jordan
   2. 
      Fassbender
   3. 
      Cera
   Poor Cera didn’t stand a chance.

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6. The Rachels: McAdams, Bilson, or Weisz?

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Omg no this is HARD (hehehe hard).

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      McAdams
   2. 
      Bilson
   3. 
      Weisz
   Fuck Weisz! Oscar-winning actress? Oscar-winning HOTTIE.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      McAdams
   2. 
      Bilson
   3. 
      Weisz
   Marry McAdams because it wasn’t over, IT STILL ISN’T OVER!

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      McAdams
   2. 
      Bilson
   3. 
      Weisz
   That left Bilson, womp. ‘Cause Hart of Dixie? Really?

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7. The Adams: Levine, Scott, or Brody?

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ALL ADAMS, ALL ADORABLE.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      Levine
   2. 
      Scott
   3. 
      Brody
   Fuck Brody—I KNOW, CONTROVERSIAL, JUST HEAR ME OUT.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      Levine
   2. 
      Scott
   3. 
      Brody
   Marry Scott because hilarious handsome hubby? SIGN ME UP.

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      Levine
   2. 
      Scott
   3. 
      Brody
   Get rid of Levine. I love him too but he’s GETTING MARRIED UGH.

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8. The Kate/ys: Hudson, Winslet, or Perry?

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I CAN’T WITH THESE KATES THO.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      Hudson
   2. 
      Winslet
   3. 
      Perry
   Fuck Perry because she’s a total ~*~*firework*~*

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      Hudson
   2. 
      Winslet
   3. 
      Perry
   Marry Kate! If Leo won’t take her, then we should!

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      Hudson
   2. 
      Winslet
   3. 
      Perry
   Dump Hudson. In the illustrious words of Karen from Mean Girls, “Ugh, she is SO annoying.”

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9. The Hughs: Dancy, Grant, or Jackman?

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FOREIGN HOTTIES OKAY WE CAN DO THIS/THEM.

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1. Fuck?
   1. 
      Dancy
   2. 
      Grant
   3. 
      Jackman
   Borrow him from wifey Clare Danes and fuck Dancy omnomnom.

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1. Marry?
   1. 
      Dancy
   2. 
      Grant
   3. 
      Jackman
   Snatch him from his wifey and marry Jackman. It’s a lot more fun down under AYOOO!

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1. Kill?
   1. 
      Dancy
   2. 
      Grant
   3. 
      Jackman
   Ditch Grant. He’s more like, “Meh, Actually.” Or, “NOTting Hill” hehehe.

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10. Destiny’s Child: Kelly, Michelle, or Beyoncé?

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Well, I mean.

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1. So who would you fuck, marry, and kill?

   
   1. What do you think?
   Of course. No contest.

   Show original image

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