Skip To Content
  • Viral badge
  • Quiz badge
  • lol badge

10 Sexually Frustrating Rounds Of Celebrity "F#@k, Marry, Kill"

AKA the 10 most heated debates you and your best friends will EVER HAVE.

Matt Ortile

There are no right or wrong answers but let's PRETEND there are. LET'S GO.

1. The Ryans: Gosling, Reynolds, or Kwanten?

ALREADY CAN'T DEAL. UNF.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Fuck Kwanten. Because LOOK AT HIM.

  1. Marry?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Marry Gosling. Because you're only human.

  1. Kill?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Get rid of Reynolds. Because if he can't make it work with ScarJo, there's something wrong.

2. The Jessicas: Alba, Biel, or Chastain?

Ladies omfg. Ladies STAHP.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Well, ALBA-damned! You wanna fuck Alba haaaay.

  1. Marry?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Marry Chastain. Your kids will be the most gorgeous in kindergarten.

  1. Kill?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    That leaves Biel. But she'll be fine; she's married to Justin Timberlake for god's sake.

3. The Jo(h)ns: Hamm, Krasinski, or Stamos?

AGH NO I CAN'T.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Fuck Stamos! He's like the Chanel No. 5 of men, such a classic.

  1. Marry?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Get hitched to Krasinski. Mom and Dad will LOVE HIM.

  1. Kill?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Ditch Hamm. It's Don Draper! He'll land on his feet.

4. The Jennifers: Hudson, Lawrence, or Lopez?

DON'T MAKE ME PICK.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Get it with JHud! Didn't win American Idol, but WINS MY HEART.

  1. Marry?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Marry JLaw! Let's just say it: she's the female Gosling.

  1. Kill?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Gotta leave JLo in the dust then, sry.

5. The Michaels: B. Jordan, Fassbender, or Cera?

But like they're all so different HOW WOULD YOU DO THIS.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Fuck Fassy because unfunfunfugggghhhh.

  1. Marry?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Marry Mr. B. Jordan, y'all! He looks delish in a tux, so.

  1. Kill?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Poor Cera didn't stand a chance.

6. The Rachels: McAdams, Bilson, or Weisz?

Omg no this is HARD (hehehe hard).

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Fuck Weisz! Oscar-winning actress? Oscar-winning HOTTIE.

  1. Marry?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Marry McAdams because it wasn't over, IT STILL ISN'T OVER!

  1. Kill?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    That left Bilson, womp. 'Cause Hart of Dixie? Really?

7. The Adams: Levine, Scott, or Brody?

ALL ADAMS, ALL ADORABLE.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Fuck Brody—I KNOW, CONTROVERSIAL, JUST HEAR ME OUT.

  1. Marry?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Marry Scott because hilarious handsome hubby? SIGN ME UP.

  1. Kill?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Get rid of Levine. I love him too but he's GETTING MARRIED UGH.

8. The Kate/ys: Hudson, Winslet, or Perry?

I CAN'T WITH THESE KATES THO.

  1. Fuck?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Fuck Perry because she's a total ~*~*firework*~*

  1. Marry?