1. Keep your kids really close to you when eating here.
2. It's good to treat yourself to some real chicken on special occasions.
3. A cruel and unusual way of cooking duck.
4. "All it takes is one of these and I'm finished for the night."
5. Unfortunately, the real thing looks nothing like it does in the picture.
6. My compliments to the chef!
7. Sounds fattening enough to go straight to your thighs.
8. What kind of sick restaurant offers both Cock and Pepsi?
9. "ToMAYdo, ToMAHdo"
10. That better not be soft serve ice cream...
11. Trust me, pizza, you're not the only one wondering what you're doing in a Chinese restaurant.
12. Before you order this, you should make sure that the chef used edible sources
13. "Does eating this technically make me a cannibal?"
14. Everybody on Yelp wasn't lying when they said the fried rice was "Foo-Kin" delicious
15. "I'd like to order a cup of acid to wash out that magic mushroom aftertaste, please"
16. WARNING: Ordering this undeniably tasty dish WILL make you an accomplice to a murder.
17. Well, at least you were able to find Google Translate.
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