Business

What Kind Of Investor Are You?

Make money money money, make money.

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  1. Satoshi Nakamoto
    Via en.bitcoin.it
    Satoshi Nakamoto
    John Bogle, inventor of the index fund
    Via youtube.com
    John Bogle, inventor of the index fund
    Hedge fund legend Paul Tudor Jones
    CBS/60 Minutes
    Hedge fund legend Paul Tudor Jones
    Kim Kardashian
    Via Heinz Peter Bader / Reuters
    Kim Kardashian
  2. Via D-schaub nature photography
    Stormbreath Dragon
    Via pinterest.com
    Stormbreath Dragon
  3. Ronald Reagan
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Ronald Reagan
    President Camacho
    President Camacho
    Bill Clinton
    Via Olivier Douliery / Getty Images
    Bill Clinton
    Ron Paul
    Via Ethan Miller / Getty Images
    Ron Paul
  4. Flickr/krossbow / Via flic.kr
    flickr/sjssharktank / Via Flickr: sjsharktank
    Flickr/jameskm03 / Via Flickr: jameskm03
  5. Wikimedia / Via upload.wikimedia.org

What Kind Of Investor Are You?

You got: All Bitcoin Everything

The fiat money system is going to collapse along with a stock market propped up by inflationary central bank policy. What's more useless than a dollar issued by a perfidious Federal Reserve? You have all your assets in the only thing you can trust: nobody. (and hopefully not Mt. Gox!)

All Bitcoin Everything
Via forexmagnates.com
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You got: Stock Picker

If the market's going up, down, or sideways, you always know the right trade. You have two loves in your life: your Scotttrade account and CNBC. You always can beat the market, right?

Stock Picker
CNBC
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You got: Index Investor

You're the model of prudence, conservatism, and long-term thinking. The only thing you look at in your investments is the expense ratio. You have nearly everything in a Vanguard target-date and aren't even thinking about the markets for another few decades. Why waste money trading when you can make money by doing nearly nothing?

Index Investor
Vanguard
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You got: Investing?

Umm, my paycheck is for paying rent and going out, not dumping into a 401(k). Mutual funds? Bottle service!

Investing? Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
HBO / Via blog.chron.com
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Matthew Zeitlin is a business reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Zeitlin reports on Wall Street and big banks.

Contact Matthew Zeitlin at matt.zeitlin@buzzfeed.com.

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