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Stupid BBC Headlines

For a little while, I've been collecting absurd BBC headlines. Disappointed with either the tabloid style or the downright stupid nature of the article. Some are more stupid than others. These were also reported in other papers and websites (as I'm sure they all get the same stories from Reuters or wherever - but I expect more of the BBC, for some reason). You may think I'm a bastard for picking some of them, that's fine this is just my opinion of standards for the BBC as a whole. Some may be more of a quirk of me rather than a quirk of the story, I accept that too. (further apologies for spelling errors)

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1. Woman in hijab supports Bradford FC

Is this a joke. What next, Man in Kippah (Jewish Skull cap) supports Tottenham? Man in red trousers watches Cricket? Why is this news?
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Is this a joke. What next, Man in Kippah (Jewish Skull cap) supports Tottenham? Man in red trousers watches Cricket? Why is this news?

2. Nelson Mandela went to see his doctor for a check up and he is fine

Oh C'mon. I know we want to know he's ok, and want to get an update every once in a while, but I don't (didn't) need to know every time he went to his GP.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Oh C'mon. I know we want to know he's ok, and want to get an update every once in a while, but I don't (didn't) need to know every time he went to his GP.

3. Oldest cat is 27 and his birthday is today

OK you would think I would give this one some leeway because its newsround, but no. The earlier we start these kids on absurd stories the worse our country falls into the chaos of anarchy.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

OK you would think I would give this one some leeway because its newsround, but no. The earlier we start these kids on absurd stories the worse our country falls into the chaos of anarchy.

4. Knightsbridge gold supercars given parking tickets

Gold supercars given parking tickets, honestly now. There were 4 pictures in this article, about cars getting parking tickets. An excuse to show readers these absurd cars maybe?
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Gold supercars given parking tickets, honestly now. There were 4 pictures in this article, about cars getting parking tickets. An excuse to show readers these absurd cars maybe?

5. Music sales are not affected by web piracy, study finds

Oxymoron you morons.If people pirate music, they don't pay for it.
Via bbc.co.uk

Oxymoron you morons.

If people pirate music, they don't pay for it.

6. Triangular flapjack banned at school

I'm sure some kid was really injured by this. But f*** really?Are they banning all sharp objects as each child is hurt by them, slowly turning this small school into a heaven for people with Aichmophobia (fear or sharp objects)
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

I'm sure some kid was really injured by this. But f*** really?

Are they banning all sharp objects as each child is hurt by them, slowly turning this small school into a heaven for people with Aichmophobia (fear or sharp objects)

7. My husband had to drink from a vase in hospital

OK this Hospital was a complete mess, but read on dear friends and discover that her husband was on a restricted fluid intake so should not have drunk anything and took it upon himself to drink from a vase.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

OK this Hospital was a complete mess, but read on dear friends and discover that her husband was on a restricted fluid intake so should not have drunk anything and took it upon himself to drink from a vase.

8. Greek club teen 'unlawfully killed'

A tragic story, but if you read it, he was punched and fell. How could he have been lawfully killed in that case? Maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe you can kill someone legally I dunno.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

A tragic story, but if you read it, he was punched and fell. How could he have been lawfully killed in that case? Maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe you can kill someone legally I dunno.

9. Parallel parking Belfast woman is internet hit

You are the BBC. Not reddit.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

You are the BBC. Not reddit.

10. Health decreases with retirement. And the chance of death increases

What's the phrase? No Sh** Sherlock

Can't find the link, you'll just have to trust me this was stupid.

11. Only Fools and Horses van' pulled over

It had a sex doll in the back of it.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

It had a sex doll in the back of it.

12. UK unemployment falls by 4,000

I know 4000 is a lot of people, but doesn't seem enough to be shouting about, whether it is or not it still feels like it could be within the margin of error or something. Feels like its the kind of number that could be accounted for by students having summer jobs or something.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

I know 4000 is a lot of people, but doesn't seem enough to be shouting about, whether it is or not it still feels like it could be within the margin of error or something. Feels like its the kind of number that could be accounted for by students having summer jobs or something.

13. LIVE: Nelson Mandela's funeral

Broadcasting it live seems odd to me, but I do get it. Its more the juxtaposition of (as it was on the day "LIVE" (in big capital letters, next to "Funeral".
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Broadcasting it live seems odd to me, but I do get it. Its more the juxtaposition of (as it was on the day "LIVE" (in big capital letters, next to "Funeral".

14. The V formation finally explained

Is this sarcasm?? Unless they were being sarcastic I have always known this. I swear all school kids know why they fly in a V. At least they are taught why.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Is this sarcasm?? Unless they were being sarcastic I have always known this. I swear all school kids know why they fly in a V. At least they are taught why.

15. Death blaze dad 'did not bathe'

Horrific story, horrific headline.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Horrific story, horrific headline.

16. how dare they take our babies

Horrific story, horrific headline
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

Horrific story, horrific headline

17. Video Judge Snaps at accused

She was actually really nice about it. He didn't want to look at her in the eye so repeatedly and very nicely asked him to pay attention.

She was actually really nice about it. He didn't want to look at her in the eye so repeatedly and very nicely asked him to pay attention.

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