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MTG South Park "Cock Magic"
The Amazingly Randy performs a cock magic show... Draw X cards, where X is the number of different magic tricks you can perform with your penis (if you do not have a penis you may choose to perform magic on a penis near you). “Oh! Where’d my hat go? Anyone seen my hat?” —The Amazingly Randy
MTG South Park "Gadnuck, Breaker Of Worlds"
World's best Magic: The Gathering playing rooster from South Park's season 18, episode 8 titled "Cock Magic"... +1: Put two 2/2 red and white Chicken creature tokens onto the battlefield. -2: Put a +1/+1 counter on each Chicken creature you control. Those creatures have indestructible until end of turn. -7: Put X 2/2 red and white Chicken creature token onto the battlefield, where X is the number of Chicken creatures you control. You get an emblem with “Chicken creatures you control have flying.”
MTG South Park "McNuggets"
Magic: The Gathering playing rooster from South Park's season 18, episode 8 titled "Cock Magic"... Flying. Haste. Heroic — Whenever you cast a spell that targets McNuggets, McNuggets deals 2 damage to target opponent and you gain 2 life. “Excuse me. That was pretty impressive down there. You boys have a nice cock.” —Cock Magic Promoter
MTG White Weenie
The ultimate white weenie card: White Weenie! Creature - Human? Taunting (Whenever this creature untaps, creatures your opponent controls get a +1/+1 counter and have haste.) White Weenie cannot attack or block. Whenever an opponent attacks, tap White Weenie and he soils himself.
MTG Tap That Ass
Instant - Tap That Ass
MTG The Situation
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's Magic The Gathering card: GTL, double strike, boardwalk (This creature is unblockable as long as defending player is also on a Jersey boardwalk.) When The Situation comes into play, put four 1/1 Guido creature tokens onto the battlefield. T2: Until end of turn, all Guidos have "3, Sacrifice this creature and put a Guido Grenade into play: Guido Grenade then deals 5 damage to one target."
MTG Muammar Gaddafi
Muammar Gaddafi Magic The Gathering (MTG) card - Trample, haste, mountainwalk. When Gaddafi comes into play, destroy all creatures that are tougher than Gaddafi and put five 0/1 Human Soldier tokens onto the battlefield that have "2, Sacrifice this creature: Regenerate Muammar Gaddafi."
MTG Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen Magic The Gathering (MTG) card - "Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body ." Now that's WINNING!