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44 Reasons Prince Is The Alpha And The Omega

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called Prince. And Prince is so many things.

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5. He changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol and made the industry revolve around it.

Via images6.fanpop.com

Fed up with his record label trying to control him, Prince became "The Love Symbol" so he could record more music outside his contract—technically they only signed some dude named "Prince". Genius.

10. He's so sexy his music is your parents' worst nightmare.

Via media.npr.org

Prince's lyrics for "Darling Nikki" caused Tipper Gore to form the Parents Music Resource Center which designed this cautionary label formally adopted by the recording industry ever since.

12. Unless he's confronted with himself. Because the only known fear to Prince is Prince.

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In 1987, he canceled the release of "The Black Album" because he actually believed the music he created for it was "evil". Pure, straight-up, funky "evil".

13. Prince is a never-ending virtual paradox, a constant digital riddle.

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In '97, Prince embraced the internet—he was the first major artist to release an entire album, "Crystal Ball," on it. Today, Prince rejects the internet—his work always seem to be just out of reach. (Seriously, try YouTube'ing any of his music videos. We'll start counting: 1, 2, 3, 4ever and ever...)

18. Prince crafted a pop song so damn catchy it didn't even need a bass line.

That's like, unheard of.

19. Make that two pop songs so damn catchy.

Again, no bass line required to physically propel you to the dance floor every single time. WHAT IS THIS WIZARDRY?!

24. Like the time he shredded this solo, threw his guitar up... AND IT SIMPLY VANISHES INTO THIN AIR!

View this video on YouTube

Via youtube.com

At 3:28 is when this wizard's solo starts, at 6:05 is when the magic happens.

True story: When you Google "best guitar solo ever"...

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...Prince is the first suggestion.

26. Even when you don't know he's there, he sounds amazing.

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That electric guitar on "Like A Prayer"? Prince.

He piggyback rides his way to a stage.

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That Kanye West lyric will make a lot more sense to you at 2 minutes in.

30. He didn't give us the "Batman" soundtrack we need, but the one we deserve.

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AKA, one of the best soundtracks ever.

32. He wrote the best make-out song of all time ever.

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Look, we can argue about this all night... while we're making out!

33. And the best break-up song of all time ever.

View this video on YouTube

Prince wrote this stellar masterpiece.

35. He gave birth to Carmen Electra.

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On the first day, Prince discovered a girl named Tara Leigh Patrick from Ohio. On the seventh day, Prince rested.

He also gave birth to Sheila E., Vanity 6, Apollonia 6, and Susanna Hoffs. Newsflash: Babes LUV Prince.

37. Prince has complete reign over all meteorological conditions.

When Prince performed the Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2007, it had started raining actual physical drops of rain while he sang "Purple Rain."

39. His omnipotent aura cannot be escaped.

Via wordpress.com

“I have a team of female black lawyers who keep an eye on such transgressions,” Prince told Billboard magazine this year. “And you know they're sharp.”.

40. He's already but a distant memory...

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He demands journalists to never tape record or even use notepads during interviews forcing everyone to write about him based on their memories alone.

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