Of course, by “expert” I mean “random Yahoo! lady,” by “hot new trends for 2012” I mean “things we’ve all been using since 2009,” by “location-based apps” I mean “Grindr” and by “relationships” I mean “hookups.”
I almost forgot! And lastly, by “nothing” I mean “Oh dear god please don’t let me slip up and say anything that would indicate I know what she’s talking about I swear I only did it that one time at EBloc because I was bored and Ben told me I should be less uptight so I figured hey why not just download it quickly just to see if there are any guys on it in the bar because that would be a funny story to tell later on but then that one latino twink kept sending me messages and honestly the details aren’t really important but long story short I deleted it the next morning and have only downloaded it again like three times since then.”
- Luke Aikins just became the first skydiver to successfully jump out of a plane without a parachute 🌎💪
- Bernie Sanders' former press secretary says she experienced repeated incidents of blatant racism while on the campaign trail.
- Sixteen people died after a hot air balloon caught fire and crashed in Texas Saturday.