100 Or So Actual Phone Names

    Can I interest you in purchasing a Samsung Smiley :)? Or perhaps a Galaxy S II Skyrocket HD? Yes, those are real names of real phones.

    There a lot of phones out there. SO MANY PHONES. But just how many phones? And who's making all those phones? And maybe more importantly, who's naming all those phones?

    These are all phones that have been listed on phone manufacturers’ or carriers’ sites in the last month, or have been recently announced and will exist soon. Can you figure out what any of them are, without looking?

    Apple iPhone 3GS

    Apple iPhone 4

    Apple iPhone 4S

    BlackBerry Bold 9900/9930

    BlackBerry Curve 3G

    BlackBerry Curve 9350/9360/9370

    BlackBerry Pearl 3G

    BlackBerry Porche Design P'9981

    BlackBerry Torch 9800/9810

    HTC Desire

    HTC Desire HD

    HTC Droid Incredible 2

    HTC Evo 3D

    HTC Evo Design 4G

    HTC Hero

    HTC Inspire 4G

    HTC Merge

    HTC One S

    HTC One V

    HTC One X

    HTC Ozone

    HTC Rezound

    HTC Rhyme

    HTC Sensation

    HTC Status

    HTC T-Mobile G2 Touch

    HTC T-Mobile myTouch 4G

    HTC T-Mobile myTouch 4G Slide

    HTC Tattoo

    HTC Touch Cruise

    HTC Wildfire

    LG Banter

    LG Banter Touch

    LG Chocolate Touch

    LG Cosmos

    LG Cosmos Touch

    LG Muzq

    LG myTouch Q

    LG Optimus 4X HD

    LG Optimus 3D Cube

    LG Optimus 3D Max

    LG Optimus One

    LG Optimus 2

    LG Optimus Slider

    LG Optimus S

    LG Optimus M

    LG Optimus T

    LG Optimus Vu

    LG dLite

    LG Rumor Touch

    LG Wine 2

    Motorola Bali

    Motorola Brute

    Motorola Droid 2 Global

    Motorola Droid 3

    Motorola Droid 4

    Motorola Droid Bionic

    Motorola Droid Pro

    Motorola Droid RAZR

    Motorola Droid RAZR Maxx

    Motorola Droid X2

    Motorola Electrify

    Motorola Milestone X

    Motorola Photon 4G

    Motorola Triumph

    Motorola XPRT

    Samsung :) t359

    Samsung Admire

    Samsung Captivate

    Samsung Captivate Glide

    Samsung Character

    Samsung Conquer 4G

    Samsung Epic 4G

    Samsung Eternity II

    Samsung Fascinate

    Samsung Flight II

    Samsung Illusion

    Samsung Indulge

    Samsung Intensity

    Samsung Galaxy Ace 2

    Samsung Galaxy Attain 4G

    Samsung Galaxy Beam

    Samsung Galaxy Indulge

    Samsung Galaxy mini

    Samsung Galaxy mini 2

    Samsung Galaxy Nexus

    Samsung Galaxy Note

    Samsung Galaxy Precedent

    Samsung Galaxy Prevail

    Samsung Galaxy S

    Samsung Galaxy S Advance

    Samsugn Galaxy S Aviator

    Samsung Galaxy S Blaze 4G

    Samsung Galaxy S Beam

    Samsung Galaxy S II

    Samsung Galaxy S II Skyrocket

    Samsung Galaxy S II Skyrocket HD

    Samsung Galaxy S Plus

    Samsung Galaxy Y Pro

    Samsung Stratosphere a Galaxy S Phone

    Samsung Gravity Smart

    Samsung Gusto

    Samsung Mezmerize

    Samsung Reality

    Samsung Replenish

    Samsung Repp

    Samsung Smiley :)

    Samsung Suede

    Samsung Transform Ultra

    Samsung Vitality

    So what's the point? Well, partly it's the increasingly ridiculous way phones are branded. There's pressure, on the one hand, to have a single identifiable brand, like the iPhone. Which is why Samsung pushes Galaxy, HTC's announced the One, and Motorola's got Droid. That's good. But from other direction is the drive to make more phones for more people, which, in concert with this tech spec arms race that's giving us 4G phones even where no 4G exists, or 3D phones that nobody wants, you wind up with monstrosities of branding like the "Samsung Galaxy S II Skyrocket HD." Say that out loud. That is a real thing. You can pay a lot of money for it.

    The other point is that there are still too many damn phones. We may just run out of absurd things to call phones soon! (And what does calling a phone "Incredible" or "Fascinate" mean? Are these particularly phones in fact fascinating or incredible? Having used them, the answer is no.) Some of those companies even admit they make too many things and say they're going to try to make fewer phones. We'll see. But hopefully this time next year, we'll just have a list of 50 phones. And the names will either be very smart, or very, very dumb. Either way, we win.

    Image: CC licensed, Matthijs/Flickr