What Outrageous Sexual Act Should You Try Next?
"Feltching" refers to the removal of some very special fluids from a very special hole using nothing but your mouth. Sure, it's not pretty. But you're not in this for the beauty. You're in this for a good time.
"Double fisting" is the fine art of fitting two fists in a place two fists probably shouldn't fit. It's a challenge, and you seem like you're up for it. (Gloves are recommended.)
A "blumpkin" refers to the art of giving or getting a blowjob while defecating. You're clearly a professional who values their time, so might as well make things efficient.
"Smashturbating" refers to the very special art of pleasuring yourself while wearing giant green Hulk Smash hands. Because let's face it: Pleasuring yourself WITHOUT giant green Hulk Smash hands is starting to get old.
A "Ballcuzzi" is a very nice little jacuzzi that one partner creates for another partner by dipping his special bits into a glass of warm water while the other person blows bubbles into the water with a straw. Does it make sense? No. But you seem like you're willing to give it a try.
"Shark Attacking" involves a nude, sexually-excited man bending over backwards on all fours and walking around with his dorsal fin gliding through the air. There's no payoff. He's just a shark now. (Making noises is recommended to enhance the fun. Can be done alone, but preferably in the presence of a partner.)
"Unicorning" involves strapping a phallic object to your forehead like a unicorn and then sexually charging at your partner. It's a very mystical act that requires tremendous finesse and an appreciation for the more magical things in life. The unicorn should be treated with great care and nobody participating in the act should startle the unicorn at any time.
The "Super Nova" involves one partner filling his or her mouth with pop rock candy and engaging another partner in oral sex. It's explosive. It's sugary. It's just plain fun. (Warning: Do not attempt to insert pop rocks into any orifice besides the mouth. Unless you're into that. But, like, I'm not recommending it.)
"The Flying Dutchman" actually just involves having normal sex, but right before things hit the peak, either partner shouts "HERE COMES THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!" for dramatic effect. Nothing besides this actually happens. But hey, you spiced things up just a little.