1. So there’s this sport in the U.K. called “gurning.”
2. And the point of this sport is literally to stick your head through a horse collar and make the most grotesque face imaginable.
3. Like, actually, the point of this sport is to make a face like this.
4. This is how you win.
5. This is the entire sport.
6. It’s actually a really old tradition, usually held at the Egremont Crab Fair, which dates back to 1267.
7. That’s right, people in the U.K. have been sticking their heads through horse collars and making horrific faces for almost EIGHT HUNDRED YEARS.
8. And people take this shit seriously.
9. They go to horrific lengths to make their faces the ugliest in the world.
10. All for the glory and beauty of victory.
11. All for the majesty of gurning.
12. All for a shiny trophy and some ribbons.
13. And, of course, the fame and glory of becoming a gurning celebrity.
14. So next time you think you’re not an athlete…
15. Just imagine your life as a professional in the world of gurning…
16. The most beautiful and majestic sport in the history of mankind.
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