Posted on Feb 5, 2014

The 21 Stages Of Having Your Life Completely Ruined By Flappy Bird

Get out while you still can.

Matt Bellassai

by Matt Bellassai

BuzzFeed Staff

Step 1: Ignore all of the warnings and download Flappy Bird because obviously it can't be as bad as everybody says it is.

Step 2: IMMEDIATELY regret your decision once you realize this bird is the physical incarnation of the devil himself.

Step 3: Discover that Flappy Bird is apparently 10 times the size he looks because there is no way in hell that this son of a bitch will actually fit through this tiny opening.

Step 4: Pass the first hole. Immediately fail before the second. SCREAM.

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Step 5: Realize that, despite how impossible success is, Flappy Bird has pulled you in like a beautiful siren and has gripped your heart with immense strength.

Step 6: Cry because Flappy Bird owns you now.

Step 7: Lie down in a puddle of your own ugly tears and regret.

Step 8: Express your immense disappointment in Flappy Bird's shameful performance.

Step 9: Realize that there is no escape. This bird is your own personal version of hell.

Step 10: Unsettle your loved ones with your carnal rage.

Step 11: Briefly consider that Flappy Bird is a source of great joy rather than great sorrow...

Step 12: Immediately realize that your assumption was wrong and that Flappy Bird is nothing but a source for pain and misery.

Step 13: Deny your emotions.

Step 14: Share your pain with others in an attempt to gain their support.

Step 15: Realize you are utterly alone in your misery.

Step 16: Become unreasonably angry at the incompetence of others who haven't experienced Flappy Bird's allure.

Step 17: Scream obscenities because Flappy Bird is a monster piece of shit and deserves all of the hate that one tiny bird could possibly deserve.

Step 18: Accept your presence in the flapocalypse.

Step 19: Forget what's real.

Step 20: Attempt to cleanse your life of Flappy's evil power.

Step 21: Finally accept that Devil Bird is now a deep part of your very soul and he will never leave, no matter how often you try to escape.

SEE ALSO:

The Guy Who Created Flappy Bird Tweeted That He’s Taking The Game Down Tomorrow

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12 Times "Flappy Bird" Drove Human Beings Into A Black Maw Of Existential Despair

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11 People Who’ve Had Their Lives Ruined By Flappy Bird

buzzfeed.com

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