The 21 Stages Of Having Your Life Completely Ruined By Flappy Bird

Get out while you still can.

1. Step 1: Ignore all of the warnings and download Flappy Bird because obviously it can’t be as bad as everybody says it is.

2. Step 2: IMMEDIATELY regret your decision once you realize this bird is the physical incarnation of the devil himself.

3. Step 3: Discover that Flappy Bird is apparently 10 times the size he looks because there is no way in hell that this son of a bitch will actually fit through this tiny opening.

4. Step 4: Pass the first hole. Immediately fail before the second. SCREAM.

5. Step 5: Realize that, despite how impossible success is, Flappy Bird has pulled you in like a beautiful siren and has gripped your heart with immense strength.

6. Step 6: Cry because Flappy Bird owns you now.

7. Step 7: Lie down in a puddle of your own ugly tears and regret.

8. Step 8: Express your immense disappointment in Flappy Bird’s shameful performance.

9. Step 9: Realize that there is no escape. This bird is your own personal version of hell.

10. Step 10: Unsettle your loved ones with your carnal rage.

11. Step 11: Briefly consider that Flappy Bird is a source of great joy rather than great sorrow…

12. Step 12: Immediately realize that your assumption was wrong and that Flappy Bird is nothing but a source for pain and misery.

13. Step 13: Deny your emotions.

14. Step 14: Share your pain with others in an attempt to gain their support.

15. Step 15: Realize you are utterly alone in your misery.

16. Step 16: Become unreasonably angry at the incompetence of others who haven’t experienced Flappy Bird’s allure.

17. Step 17: Scream obscenities because Flappy Bird is a monster piece of shit and deserves all of the hate that one tiny bird could possibly deserve.

18. Step 18: Accept your presence in the flapocalypse.

19. Step 19: Forget what’s real.

20. Step 20: Attempt to cleanse your life of Flappy’s evil power.

21. Step 21: Finally accept that Devil Bird is now a deep part of your very soul and he will never leave, no matter how often you try to escape.

22. SEE ALSO:

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