1. When he walks into his own pre-dimmed hallway closet and he’s like, “Oh yeah, David, it’s just me and you now, and nobody else.”
2. When he takes off his shirt and strains his back.
3. When he walks up to the mirror and just stands there for a second admiring his own flawless six-pack.
NOTE: PLEASE IGNORE THE GUY IN THE BACKGROUND. HE DOES NOT MATTER.
4. When he starts putting on his shirt and does it all slow for his own enjoyment.
5. When he finishes putting on his shirt and he can’t even keep his eyes off of himself, he’s just so into it.
6. When he stares into his own eyes and he’s like, “Would you do me?”
7. “I’d do me.”
8. When he tilts his head and thinks, “God, my jaw line is so perfect.”
9. When he tugs on his jacket and admires how good he looks in a well-tailored suit.
10. When he dowses himself in his own scent and loves every drop of it.
11. And then when he leaves and he’s like, “Bye, David. I’ll see you later tonight…”
Here’s the entire sexual experience:
- A newly unearthed Homeland Security report contradicts Donald Trump's travel ban, saying country of origin is not a reliable indicator of terrorism.
- A draft of an Obamacare repeal plan was released that would strip many benefits and taxes from the healthcare law, while blocking federal funds from Planned Parenthood.
- Time to change your passwords: Uber and Fitbit are among the millions of websites that may have been compromised 🔐
- A billboard in North Carolina that claims "Real men provide. Real women appreciate it," has sparked controversy across the country 👀