29 Things Her Majesty The Queen Is Probably Thinking

Officially servin' royal realness for 60 years.

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1. "You know what? FUCK horses. I could be a horse if I wanted. I'll get down on my knees and eat this bale of hay right now. Will that make me cool? No, because fuck horses."

12. "Wow, you made fire. Try being the fucking queen of England, huh? Ever think about doing that with your life? No? Go fuck yourself."

16. "What the fuck are you even saying? Squirtle? Squirtle was your favorite Pokémon? I would spit on you, but I don't want to turn you on."

19. "Are you even trying? Honestly? Did you wake up this morning and think to yourself, I'm gonna half-ass being a bull today? 'Cause that's what's happening right now."