Chicagoans don’t mess around, so let’s get right down to business… NO CITY MATCHES CHICAGO.
2. Number one in making the most out of our girth to cheer on our team.
3. And in putting up with some real shit to see these guys play.
IN THE MIDDLE OF A FREAKIN’ BLIZZARD.
4. We are number one in making giant, shiny homages to food.
6. …ESPECIALLY in Winter.
Like that time everybody got STUCK ON LAKE SHORE DRIVE because the snow was literally falling too fast.
7. We’re number one in having a mayor with only 9 1/2 fingers.
That’s right, Bloomberg. Try counting to 9 1/2 on your hands. No? That’s what I thought.
14. OH, YEAH… and number one in having the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES hail from our city.
21. We’re number one in Michael Jordans.
22. And Kanye Wests.
23. And Bill Murrays.
24. And Roger Eberts.
25. We’re number one in waiting til next year…
26. And praying the curse will break…
27. …unless you’re from the South Side.
28. We’re number one in dealing with the harshest winters…
30. We’re number one in dyeing our rivers a disgusting color because we feel that strongly about being Irish.
31. We’re number one in weird art…
32. …and in fully appreciating that art.
34. We’re number one in refusing to call this building anything but the Sears Tower.
You can take your Willis and shove it.
41. And number one in paloozas with the greatest view of any paloozas anywhere in the universe.
44. And water that doesn’t smell like poop.
48. MOST OF ALL… We’re number one in places where people aspire and build and create.
49. We’re a city of people who feel like they’ve always been — and will always be — right at home.
50. AND WE ARE SECOND TO NO ONE.
- Hillary Clinton made her debut with VP pick Tim Kaine, who dipped into Spanish and spoke on support for immigration reform and gun control.
- The gunman who killed at least 10 people at a Munich, Germany mall on Friday was an 18-year-old "obsessed" with mass shootings, police said.
- ISIS has claimed responsibility for a bombing that killed at least 80 people in Afghanistan Saturday.