1.This dog who would frankly make a wonderful husband and would probably serve you breakfast every day in bed.
2.This dog who doesn't care what people think, he just wants you to know he's in love.
3.This dog who knows how ridiculous human-animal marriage is, and doesn't think it'll ever come to that, obviously, but he's available just in case, ya know?
4.This dog who works hard every day to show you how much he cares, because that's the kind of spouse he aspires to be.
5.This dog who knows loving same-sex couples just want to celebrate their love, but as long as everybody's gonna freak out about it, he's gonna be ready to join you in marriage just in case society crumbles.
6.This dog who just looks good in a suit, and wanted to make himself available for a wedding just in case he was needed.
7.This dog who has faith in society and isn't stupid enough to believe he'll ever have to marry a person, but ya know, he wanted to get dressed up just in case.
8.This dog who just wants you to know that she'll always be there to love you and support your decisions and will marry you if you feel like it.
9.This dog who is happy to just walk down the aisle when you marry your boyfriend or girlfriend, but he'll join you in marriage if it comes to that, I guess.
10.This dog who's just here for the wedding cake, to be honest.
11.This dog who's just really excited that DOMA was struck down and he's not worried that society will crumble and that everything will be terrible, but he'll marry you in case things get bad.
12.This dog who just loves life right now and will marry you in a heartbeat.
13.This dog who would spend long autumn days with you combing your hair and telling you how pretty you are because that's what marriage is all about.
14.This dog who would stay up late at night with you and tell stories about your family and your siblings and what it was like growing up in the suburbs, like a good dog spouse should.
15.This dog who, frankly, just wanted an occasion to dress up.
16.This dog who would be happy to spend married days with you jumping in puddles and laughing.
17.And this dog, who knows he'll never marry you, because human-dog marriage is RIDICULOUS AND WILL NEVER HAPPEN AND JUST WANTS GAY PEOPLE TO BE HAPPY. But he'll put a ring on it if you want.