1. Cinderoncé is your favorite classic fairy tale…
2. Featuring your classic lonely maiden.
3. Who suffers under the tyranny of her diva step-family.
4. Until her fabulous fairy drag-mother comes to her rescue.
5. Providing her with one fierce freakum dress.
6. To attend the town ball full of otherwise hopeless single ladies.
7. Where Cinderoncé arrives in all her fierce royal glory.
8. To share a dance with her Prince Charming.
9. Until her countdown reaches midnight.
10. Meanwhile, the town ladies wonder why Prince Charming just doesn’t love them.
11. Until Cinderoncé and Charming realize their love is truly on top.
12. And then basically they all get down to Beyoncé because that’s how all “happily ever afters” should be.
- Speaking on Tuesday, German leader Angela Merkel said the UK can't expect to keep privileges once it leaves the EU.
- Turkey and Israel signed a deal on Tuesday officially restoring ties between the two countries, Reuters reports.
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