1. You buy hemp milk not because it’s ironic, but because your digestion isn't what it used to be.
2. You no longer think spending a Friday night at home is lame, and may have even canceled plans to go out last weekend so you could binge-watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
3. But binge-watching isn't limited to just sitcoms and dramas. You lost an entire weekend to an HGTV marathon a few months ago.
4. When your phone rings past 9 p.m. you automatically think it’s an emergency, because really, who calls someone past 9?
5. Your Halloween costumes have become significantly less revealing over the years — not because you’re less confident with your body but because you’re less willing to endure cold weather in order to look like a sexy mouse.
6. You spend more time getting ready for bed in the evening than you do getting dressed and styling your hair in the mornings.
7. You know that pinot grigio and pinot gris are two different wines.
8. And even have an opinion on which you prefer.
9. You prioritize things like in-unit laundry while looking at apartments.
10. You can work the wedding registry kiosks at places like Target and Best Buy like a total pro!
11. Not only do you have friends who are married, but you've also got a few who are happily divorced.
12. You hardly ever get carded at your local grocery store, but get excited when a new checker doesn’t recognize you and asks for your ID.
13. You have a preferred type of toilet paper.
14. You spend more on kitchen appliances than you do on shoes.
15. You watch Food Network and actually re-create some of the dishes from your favorite shows.
16. You mix up Kendall and Kylie Jenner.
17. The last crazy concert you went to was…an opera.
18. Going to work after a night of drinking and barely any sleep is no longer an option.
19. Primarily because you’ve got a job now that you actually care about.
20. The last time you used a “sick day,” you were actually sick. Like stuck in bed sick.
21. You no longer make fun of people who complain about their “bad backs,” because you’ve hurt your back before and know that it’s no laughing matter.
22. When someone mentions a hot new app, your mind immediately goes to mobile banking and financial planning.
23. You know the difference between a traditional and Roth IRA.
24. And know a rollover isn’t just something dogs do.
25. You're becoming more and more like your parents as the years go by, and you're OK with that.
