There's nothing quite like a wedding. The romance! The passion! The...candy buffet? There's a bit of a cultural expectation that your wedding day is the most special and important of your life, and while that may be true for a lot of people, it puts a ton of pressure on everyone involved.
Between old-fashioned traditions and unwelcome modern trends, rambling toasts, and what can only be described as falling under the umbrella of "weird money stuff," there's plenty out there that wedding goers would be very, very happy to never witness again. So, there were plenty of responses when Redditor u/CheckMoney66 asked the r/AskWomen community, "What's something that people need to start/stop doing at weddings?" Here are 24 of their responses.
Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1. "People at weddings need to stop turning to the unmarried couples there and asking them, 'Are you guys next?' So rude. There are lots of reasons why people don't marry or wait a long time to get married, and their status is none of anyone's concern but their own."
2. "Giant wedding cakes. They are unbelievably expensive and only a quarter ever gets eaten. We spent a fraction of the price and got a few dozen cupcakes. Different flavors, some gluten free, some allergen friendly, and got two huge things of ice cream to serve them with. We did, however, give our kid $100 and told him to go nuts at the candy store for the candy bar. It was his request for the wedding, and we had a lot of kids, so it was a hit."
3. "Having a child-free wedding (which is totally fine), BUT then getting annoyed when a lot of people can't make it because they can't find childcare. You made your choice, so you should accept the consequences."
4. "Taking pictures during the ceremony. They’ve probably got a photographer, and if you’re looking at your phone, you’re not looking at the ceremony. Also, I think it’s a little rude to post pics of the couple on social media within the first day or so of the wedding. It’s kind of like first baby pictures; let them roll out the first ones they want to be seen."
5. "Expecting bridesmaids to pay thousands of dollars for a dress, shoes, jewelry, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, etc. I’ve had to decline being in a wedding party because it would have cost about $3,000 between all of the above.
"I didn’t have any bridesmaids. I had close friends come get ready with me in the morning, and then, they sat down with everyone else during the ceremony, wearing whatever they wanted. We also skipped the first dances and party favors (I’m already paying for your dinner and drinks, you don’t need some cutesy shot glass with our names on it)."
6. "Parents need to butt out. We weren’t allowed the date we wanted, and we weren’t allowed the venue we wanted. We weren’t even supposed to share the photos of us getting married on the date we wanted (because it meant that much to us) because the people coming to the big wedding would be offended. They didn’t even pay a freaking cent to our wedding, and they still took over like that. Butt the eff out. Let people enjoy the things they want and are paying for."
7. "Having outdoor weddings! I've sweated my ass off in the blazing hot sun. I felt so sorry for the elderly grandparents who were miserable. I've frozen my ass off when they held the reception outside, despite the four inches of unplanned snow on the ground. The six propane heaters did not help. Then there's the hot, sweaty beach wedding where I could barely hear the vows because of the crashing waves. I've gotten rained on at the outdoor wedding in a bamboo forest. Have your wedding inside where you can control the temperature. Think about your guests' experience, please. All I remember about the weddings above was how miserable I, my guest, and the other guests were."
8. "Stop proposing at other peoples' weddings. Ugh, I don't know, man, it's just cringe to me."
9. "Useless extravagances at your reception. Forget about such things as butterfly or dove releases. These, and photo booths and candy buffets, aren't worth the extra money they cost.
"Also, we need to be respectful of our attendants' budgets. Bridesmaid's dresses can be reasonably priced. You don't need a group spa day, professional makeup and hair, or weekend getaways for bachelor and bachelorette parties. Weddings cost too much as is."