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Think of me as a psychic. A very bad, very hungry psychic.

Check Off All The Foods You Want Included In Your Last Meal And I'll Make A Very Specific, Extremely Accurate (Well, Maybe) 2023 Prediction For You

Last Meal And 2023 Prediction Checklist Quiz

Hey, If You Plan Your Ideal Last Meal, I'll Give You An Extremely Specific Prediction About Your Life In 2023

Check off every food you'd want to eat during your last meal:

And then the person you're with will say, "Hey, look, a deer!" The deer will know the jig is up and get out of there, and you'll feel momentarily annoyed at your companion, until you realize that they weren't trying to startle the deer; they just didn't want you to miss it. Your relationship with this person becomes stronger as a result.

In 2023, you will encounter a deer in the wilderness, and when you make eye contact with it, you will feel at one with nature and the universe around you.

But they may not advertise this fact, since it's pretty difficult to work into a conversation naturally. So my advice to you is to ask every new acquaintance whether they know how to juggle. You'll know you've found your juggler when they respond, "It's funny you mention it! I am extraordinarily good at juggling."

man in white shirt standing on beach during sunset

In 2023, you will meet someone who is extraordinarily good at juggling.

A love letter so old that the paper is soft to the touch? Currency from a country that no longer exists? A photograph of Bigfoot? Maybe! By the way, the jeans don't fit, but you keep them because they're your only lead.

In 2023, you will purchase a pair of jeans at a thrift store and discover something monetarily worthless but nevertheless compelling in the back left pocket.

I hope you've been counting. If you haven't been, just trust me on this one. The annual clapping algorithm doesn't lie! It just makes wild guesses that you can't possibly verify. (It's me. I'm the annual clapping algorithm.)

man in blue scrub shirt wearing white face mask

In 2023, you will clap your hands together exactly 1,031 times.

You won't understand what is driving you to do this, though. Is it nostalgia for your childhood? Is it a quiet commitment to the bit? Is it the undue influence of a BuzzFeed quiz you took in January? Only time will tell.

In 2023, you will, for the first time since grade school, use a pencil until it is a tiny, unusable stub of a writing utensil.

At some point during the year, a book with that log line will be announced, but this won't bother you, since you don't remember you had the idea in the first place. When it comes out, you'll happen to buy and read the book. It's okay. You might watch the movie when it comes to streaming.

In 2023, you will wake up in the middle of the night with a fully formed pitch for the next hit young adult book series and subsequent movie franchise, but you will forget your idea by the next morning.

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Check Off All The Foods You Want Included In Your Last Meal And I'll Make A Very Specific, Extremely Accurate (Well, Maybe) 2023 Prediction For You

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