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What Kind Of Birthday Should Joey Have?

R u feeling 22?

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  1. PICK A BDAY CANDLE.

    Paper (?)
    Paper (?)
    Literal fireworks
    Literal fireworks
    Fire as you dramatically walk away.
    Fire as you dramatically walk away.
    Club Gorgas when it's lit
    Club Gorgas when it's lit
  2. PICK A PLACE TO GO TO WHEN BASICS TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

    aka doomsday

    Land of de Irish
    Land of de Irish
    ~Paris~
    ~Paris~
    This Sweet Crib
    This Sweet Crib
    Cuba
    Cuba
  3. PICK A HILL

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    Woke Hillary
    Woke Hillary
    Lit Hillary
    Lit Hillary
    Savage Hillary
    Savage Hillary
    Chillalry Hillary
    Chillalry Hillary
  4. PICK A SAVAGE

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    This savage.
    This savage.
    this savage,
    this savage,
    this *savage*,
    this *savage*,
    ...or this savage.
    ...or this savage.
  5. PICK A BERET-WEARING CELEBRITY

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    This dramatic beret.
    This dramatic beret.
    This chic beret.
    This chic beret.
    This okay beret.
    This okay beret.
    This legit beret.
    This legit beret.
  6. IT'S SNOWPOCALYPSE 2.0. YOU MUST HIDE IN NOTT FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS OR UNTIL SCHOOL IS UNCANCELED. YOU MAY TAKE ONE SNACK WITH YOU. WHAT IS IT?

    Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
    An entire Milo's establishment.
    An entire Milo's establishment.
    These gross prepackaged (but may likely never go bad) muffins.
    These gross prepackaged (but may likely never go bad) muffins.
    A dainty candlelight dinner with J. Bo.
    A dainty candlelight dinner with J. Bo.
    The spiritual fulfillment you get when you make it through the Ferg without seeing someone you know.
    The spiritual fulfillment you get when you make it through the Ferg without seeing someone you know.

What Kind Of Birthday Should Joey Have?

You got: A MOTHERF*CKING MONSTER OF A TIME

Thanks to Kanye and his collaborators, you can now enjoy the perks of having a motherf*cking monster of a time. You probably already know all the words to the song, so you're all ready for your birthday extravaganza. At one point during the night, you'll make a very long speech, which will simultaneously confuse and inspire your audience. Awkward stares will go round the room, whispers bouncing off the walls. "Is he serious?? Was that a metaphor??" In any case, the speech will culminate in you shouting, "JOEY 4 PRES 2K16!"

A MOTHERF*CKING MONSTER OF A TIME Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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You got: A TAYLOR-TASTIC 22

Wow, you should definitely model your life after Taylor Swift's iconic song, "22." At some point during the night, you'll find that you've somehow accumulated a squad. It will be made of celebrities and other fantastic people. Pray hard, and a Kardashian might just join the team. PSYCHE: We already here, bitch, to celebrate you and your awesomeness. Were just like our leader: lit, woke, and savage. I mean, just look at that damn confetti.

A TAYLOR-TASTIC 22 Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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You got: A WEEDY TIME

I don't actually know what a *Weedy* time entails. I suppose it could be a reference to plants (ahem, the federally-legal variety). Or maybe, it's a reference to something else entirely. Maybe, just maybe, it describes everything. Just as the weed makes its way to our world and the sun, you literally slayed away all the basics to reach *success.* Damn, that's deep. Keep slayin' basics, Weed.

A WEEDY TIME Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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You got: A DRANK-ASS DENIM TIME

This type of birthday is ~all~ about the outfit. Don't be afraid to throw on the entirety of your denim wardrobe and get out there on the dance floor. Like denim, you're dependable, stylish, and - of course - timeless. You may wander around and find a filmy spotlight whilst in your denim. Is it a lamp? Is it holy? Nah, get away from there and keep dancin'. HBD.

A DRANK-ASS DENIM TIME Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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