Mourn the loss of your warm, beautiful, cozy bed. Merry Christmas, everyone.Analyze the massive amount of nothing you have to do today, and every day this week.Blankly stare at your screen as you think of all the things you COULD be doing with this time spent doing absolutely NOTHING. Question life choices.Check emails that are full of "Out of Office" replies and pull up Solitaire. Since no one is here, you crank up the Christmas tunes and settle in for eight more hours of nothing.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. Try to decide if you can make a break for it. You don't need a job, right?Via GoogleI guess today is a good day to try and figure out how to play Hearts.Via GoogleNO. No. This can't be right? Can it? Is the clock broken? Are ALL the clocks broken? Take a moment of silence for your crushed hope.Via GoogleWelp. You throw your clock in the trash. Symbolically of course, because who even has real clocks any more? You're not throwing this iPhone away. . . You vow to not look at the clock ever again, and turn on Christmas music in hopes it will cheer you up.Via Google
Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya! It's going to be a lot easier for all of us to do nothing guilt free if you just go ahead and GTFO.Via GoogleM...m...mmmerry Christmas. I'll just be here for the rest of the week as my soul rots away.Via GoogleGreeeaaat. Does my smile look convincing as I wish you a happy holiday vacation?*goes back to staring at screen*Via GoogleYou can't even pretend anymore. I hope you enjoy seeing your family and the sweatpants you will inevitably be sliding into in a matter of hours. I'll harbor my jealously to the best of my ability. I'll just sit here and stare at these pictures of my cats
Your adorable cats at home. They probably miss you. Probably celebrating the holidays without you. Playing with all those ornaments on your tree. If only you were there...Via GoogleFood. Glorious, Christmas, food. You've been surviving on nothing but office left overs and in just a few days you'll have a real, delicious holiday feast. IF you can make it that long.Via GoogleFreedom. Sweet, sweet, freedom.Via GooglePresents. You got shafted at last year's office White Elephant...but not this year. No, this year you've got a plan. No one is stealing your gift this time!Via Google
How DONE Are You With Work This Week?
Fuck. This. Shit. Stick a fork in it, because you're 100% DONE with work this week. Let's just all agree that no one cares any more, break out the eggnog and watch Christmas movies in the break room.
You're not all the way there, but you can feel insanity creeping over you like the inevitable debt shadow of the holiday season. While you're on the verge of spending the last of your bank account on a one way flight out of town and never looking back...your only remaining hope is that the clock you've been hopelessly staring at for hours on end is slowly ticking closer to freedom.
While your fragile sense of sanity is teetering on the verge of epic downward spiral, you're holding on. You still have the hope of the end of the holiday work week to hold on to. Stay strong...the end is near.
Why are we even HERE? While you're aware of the fact that nothing will be accomplished this week and you and your co-workers are more or less blobs of holiday sweaters blankly staring at screens, you're also aware of the fact you're collecting a paycheck for a week of doing nothing. We admire your optimism.