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THESE VIDEO GAME TRAINS ARE THE BEST TRAINS, BUT IN A GAME

Video games, eh? There are good ones and bad ones. The very best ones, like Final Fantasy VIII, have trains in them and are all the better for it. Having previously done a comprehensive and completely objective run down of the best trains in real life, here are the very best trains in video games that there have ever been. IF YOU DISAGREE YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION BUT IT IS BOTH WRONG AND STUPID AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

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10. British Rail Class 142 Pacer (Train Simulator 2017)

Armstrong Powerhouse / Via armstrongpowerhouse.com

These are absolutely hideous creations made out of a bus stapled to a truck chassis. The thing is though, they’re so horrible that they’re an experience. If you’ve never been on one, you should one day, just to see what a train that has gone horribly wrong looks, feels and sounds like. But in a game.

Get it here.

9. British Rail Class 66 (Train Simulator 2017)

Dovetail Games / Via store.steampowered.com

Despite the fact that these are UGLY AS HELL, I can’t help but admire them, because of their rampant success in the UK. Exclusively freight locomotives, chances are if you see a freight train it’ll have one of these stuck on the front. But in a game.

Get it here

8. British Rail Class 89 (Microsoft Train Simulator)

Hyperen (YouTube) / Via youtube.com

Something of an oddity, the single class 89 was built in 1986 to a British Rail specification which changed before it was completed, so it had NO CHANCE. Imagine that happened to you? That would be depressing :(. It was officially named “Avocet”, but is also known as The Aardvark and The Badger due to its stupid face. But in a game.

No idea where you'd get this one, but it's doesn't look so bad for MSTS, which is donkey's years old.

7. British Rail Class 156 Super Sprinter (Train Simulator 2017)

Oovee Game Studios / Via store.steampowered.com

In the 1980s British Rail and their contractors built a million billion diesel and electric multiple units that all looked pretty similar (apart from those horrible things above), but this is probably the nicest one to travel in (depending on the configuration of the seats inside - some are vile and more in need of a good wash than Pete Doherty). But in a game.

Get it here

6. British Rail Class 87 (Train Simulator 2017)

Dovetail Games / Via store.steampowered.com

Quietly went about its business on the West-Coast Mainline until the introduction of the Class 390 Pendolino. Some were scrapped, but most were exported to Bulgaria where they live on. HURRAH FOR BULGARIA! But in a game.

Get it here.

4. English Electric Type 3 / BR Class 37 (Train Simulator 2017)

Dovetail Games / Via store.steampowered.com

Known as “tractors” because of the noise made by their engine, the Class 37 is a stellar example of 60s locomotive engineering that remains in mainline use today. These locos are undeniably gorgeous and always a pleasure to see, and pop up all over the network on a variety of jobs from hauling railtours to nuclear waste flasks. Marvellous. But in a game.

Get it here

3. British Rail Class 55 “Deltic” (Train Simulator 2017)

Dovetail Games / Via store.steampowered.com

Get it here

It looks like a fat Class 37, but that’s not fat, it’s PURE THROBBING MUSCLE. The name “Deltic” comes from the engines, two 1650hp Napier Deltics. These beautiful machines raced up and down the East-coast mainline but in a game before they were replaced by…

2. Inter-City 125/High Speed Train (Orig. BR Class 253/254) (Train Simulator 2017)

Own screenshot

Still going strong (albeit with several refurbishments and engine replacements) since the 1970s, a triumph of design. As originally built, the locomotives had one of the best sounding engines in this history of EVERYTHING. The fact they were advertised by Jimmy “Massive Paedo” Savile in the 70s can’t even knock these glorious machines down. But in a game. Although Savile isn't the game. Sorry.

Included with base game

1. Advanced Passenger Train (BR Class 370, APT-P) (Microsoft Train Simulator)

Sector95 / Via forums.uktrainsim.com

There has never been another train as beautiful as this. Brutally cut down in its prime just because the various completely new technologies on it kept breaking down and it was eating all of British Rail’s money. Some of the technology from it made it into the Class 91 and its coaches. JUST LOOK AT IT, THOUGH. IT’S LIKE A SPACE TRAIN FROM THE FUTURE BUT IT’S ACTUALLY FROM THE PAST *wipes away tear*

But in a game.

Albeit quite an old game that has old game graphics, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER, BECAUSE LOOK AT IT. JUST LOOK AT IT. No idea where to get it mind, just pictures and memories of days gone by.

OK, BYE XOXOXO

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