If today you were wondering about the health of the friendship between the United States and United Kingdom — the so-called Special Relationship™ — well, dear reader, IT'S NOT GOOD. Come with me.
On Sunday, the Mail on Sunday published extracts from a bunch of very secret, fairly critical diplomatic memos about the Trump administration by the UK's man in Washington, Sir Kim Darroch.
The UK ambassador labelled Trump "inept", "insecure" and "incompetent", while also describing the president's White House as "uniquely dysfunctional" in the memos spanning from 2017 to the present.
Apart from feeling the embarrassment of such a high-level leak, Sir Kim's memos were initially portrayed in the media as, you know, robust, confidential assessments penned by a career public servant who was on his way out of the job.
But Trump's old friend Nigel Farage used the story to call for Darroch's sacking and for a Farage-loyalist to be put into the plum diplomatic posting.
There was another wrinkle in this mess: The person who broke the story of the leaked memos in the Mail on Sunday was Isabel Oakeshott, a writer and commentator closely associated with Farage's inner circle, who literally helped write the book about Farage's Brexit campaign. Which is definitely fine.
But still, the sense was that if we all stayed very still, maybe this would just blow over. Well, that didn't happen because....
On Monday, Trump appeared to find his phone and fired off a couple of not-very-nice tweets about the ambassador... along with UK prime minister Theresa May.
I have been very critical about the way the U.K. and Prime Minister Theresa May handled Brexit. What a mess she and her representatives have created. I told her how it should be done, but she decided to go another way. I do not know the Ambassador, but he is not liked or well....
He even claimed the US would "no longer deal with him", which is like the most diplomatic way for Trump to say "be gone!" or, I don't know, "you're fired!".
....thought of within the U.S. We will no longer deal with him. The good news for the wonderful United Kingdom is that they will soon have a new Prime Minister. While I thoroughly enjoyed the magnificent State Visit last month, it was the Queen who I was most impressed with!
So all eyes swivelled to Theresa May, who leaves office this month, for the UK government's reaction. In true British style, May released a sober, calm — some might even say boring — statement in support of the ambassador and the US-UK alliance.
"We have made clear to the U.S. how unfortunate this leak is," Downing Street said in a statement. "The selective extracts leaked do not reflect the closeness of, and the esteem in which we hold, the relationship. At the same time, we have also underlined the importance of Ambassadors being able to provide honest, unvarnished assessments of the politics in their country.
"Sir Kim Darroch continues to have the Prime Minister's full support."
The Times front page about the whole episode reached God-level of British shade.
on balance, I think this might be one of the best front pages in history.
And that was that. Done. Finished. The enduring, everlasting alliance betwee- nah just joking, Trump started tweeting again.
On Tuesday, Trump went again at Sir Kim, calling him "the wacky Ambassador", before lighting up Theresa May over her Brexit disaster, regarding which, to be fair, most British people would feel he has something of a point.
The wacky Ambassador that the U.K. foisted upon the United States is not someone we are thrilled with, a very stupid guy. He should speak to his country, and Prime Minister May, about their failed Brexit negotiation, and not be upset with my criticism of how badly it was...
...handled. I told @theresa_may how to do that deal, but she went her own foolish way-was unable to get it done. A disaster! I don’t know the Ambassador but have been told he is a pompous fool. Tell him the USA now has the best Economy & Military anywhere in the World, by far...
Although that said, it's not like his advice at the time was particularly helpful.
@realDonaldTrump @theresa_may You told her to sue the EU. We await your thoughts on why this is tenable and not batshit crazy.
He then ended it by... thanking himself? Normal behaviour.
....and they are both only getting bigger, better and stronger.....Thank you, Mr. President!
People in the UK were just kind of bemused that the president would be taking this into a third day.
Trump now calls UK ambassador ‘whacky’. Oh dear. This is not going well. The Prez is like a dog with a bone.
Oh, he's up, is he.
And said that he was kind of proving at least one of Darroch's points.
can’t imagine why Kim Darroch described Trump as insecure https://t.co/7Fqqu40IDW
And now, as we wait for the UK's second response to Trump v.s. UK Ambassador, many are wondering if Theresa May will snatch a cinematic moment with two hands.
In light of Trump's latest comments on UK Ambassador to the US, let's remind ourselves of a certain movie scene... "The friend who bullies us is no longer a friend..." https://t.co/rP3Id3jGry