Meet Queensland senator Glenn Lazarus who just threatened to stick his fingers in Tony Abbott's butt.
We know what you're thinking: "No! It cannot be? This is a ridiculous assertion."
Well let's go through the facts.
Lazarus is a former Australian rugby league player who was nicknamed "The Brick With Eyes" due to his formidable line-busting ability.
At the 2013 election he became a senator for Queensland, slipping into power with the help of mining billionaire Clive Palmer.
Lazarus walked out on Palmer's party earlier this year, over some serious personal and professional disputes between the two big men.
He now sits in the senate as an independent and has lodged electoral papers to register a new political party: "The Glen Lazarus Team."
Which pretty much brings us to Tuesday, when he threatened some pretty dodgy tackling moves on Tony Abbott if coal seam gas mining wasn't banned from residential areas of Queensland.
"I threatened Tony Abbott to shirtfront him about this issue... I'm so determined to give these people a voice... I am prepared to go and squirrel grip, the prime minister," said Lazarus, according to The Australian.
"If that doesn't work I've got other things up my sleeves such as the grapple tackle, the chicken wing and even the crusher tackle. If that doesn't work I'm prepared to use the Hopoate tackles."
o_0
For all those who are scratching their heads and wondering what the hell is going on.... in Australian sporting slang, this is a "shirtfront".
A "squirrel grip" is when a player grabs the testicles of another player.
Here's also the "grapple" (wrestling around the neck and head), the "crusher" (slamming onto the players head, squashing the spine) and the "chicken wing" (yanking the player's arm in a tackle).
It all brings us to the "Hopoate", named after late 90s star John Hopoate who pioneered sticking his fingers up the butt of opposing players. Like so:
Lazarus' butt-probing threat has delighted the country.
it's an actual Australian law that if you finger someone's butthole you usurp them
Senator Lazarus demonstrates how he'll "squirrel grip" the PM over #csg. Thankfully he didn't show us the Hopoate.
pictured: glenn lazarus and tony abbott
petition to replace 'render me stateless' with 'well finger me bumhole'
But there are some serious worries, like what if he follows through on the threat.
What if he does it. What if Lazarus gets stuck right in. Then what will these 'jokesters' on Twitter say. What will they say if he does it.