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    Posted on 19 Jan 2015

    Kyle Sandilands Shat His Bed And Apparently It Was Like Mashed Pumpkin

    "Oh god, I must have dropped some mashed pumpkin... Oh that's poo!"

    The self-described "King" Kyle Sandilands has used his first show back for 2015 to reveal he literally shat all over the bed while sick over Christmas.

    Joel Carrett / AAPIMAGE

    In a bizarre retelling of the sickness episode, Sandilands told his top-rating Kiis radio show that he woke up in extreme pain one day during his holiday break and texted co-host Jackie O that, "If I die, I want you to know I think you're a wonderful person."

    "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. Just didn't know what to say ... oh and I've just pooed the bed," read another text message from Sandilands.

    Jane Dempster / AAPIMAGE

    "I got up and I looked at the bed and I thought, 'Oh god, I must have dropped some mashed pumpkin'. Then I thought, 'Oh, that's poo!' And it was just everywhere. I scooped up all of the sheets and the pillow, wrapped it up into a big ball and ran into the shower with it."

    It turned out Kyle had a fever and was "traumatised" by the whole experience but was ok. The story rippled out into the world and people were disturbed.

    RIP in peace King Kyle. Crapped the bed to death.

    Gordy gordy gordy!@GordyPlsFollow

    RIP in peace King Kyle. Crapped the bed to death.

    1:41 PM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    I Shat The Bed And It Made Me Realise How Special Jackie O Is: The Kyle Sandilands Story

    Jo Thornely@jothornelyFollow

    I Shat The Bed And It Made Me Realise How Special Jackie O Is: The Kyle Sandilands Story

    10:31 AM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    looks like kyle sandilands was full of shit afterall

    da nn ol an@dannolanFollow

    looks like

    kyle sandilands

    was full

    of shit

    afterall

    10:39 AM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    I don't know about everyone else, but knowing Sandilands shit himself is definitely hot information I needed right now.

    Sarah@zarahplainntallFollow

    I don't know about everyone else, but knowing Sandilands shit himself is definitely hot information I needed right now.

    1:22 PM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    While NSW Liberal MP Peter Phelps came out with a disturbingly, beautiful poem.

    Pumpkin, pumpkin night, Lie in bed like Sandy Kyle, Punch out a great steaming pile, Wrapped in sheet and dashed straight to the loo...

    Peter Phelps MLC@PeterPhelpsMLCFollow

    Pumpkin, pumpkin night,

    Lie in bed like Sandy Kyle,

    Punch out a great steaming pile,

    Wrapped in sheet and dashed straight to the loo...

    10:45 AM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    ... For you were in bed, And still you did a poo, And when no butternut was found, On the silken eiderdown, You took it straight to the loo

    Peter Phelps MLC@PeterPhelpsMLCFollow

    ... For you were in bed,

    And still you did a poo,

    And when no butternut was found,

    On the silken eiderdown,

    You took it straight to the loo

    11:08 AM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    But I could have told you, Kyle, This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you...

    Peter Phelps MLC@PeterPhelpsMLCFollow

    But I could have told you, Kyle,

    This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you...

    11:09 AM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    Stinky, stinky night, Faeces smeared down Kyle's hall, Brown grout on the shower wall, Reflects a lifestyle so absurd, U write about yr turd

    Peter Phelps MLC@PeterPhelpsMLCFollow

    Stinky, stinky night,

    Faeces smeared down Kyle's hall,

    Brown grout on the shower wall,

    Reflects a lifestyle so absurd,

    U write about yr turd

    11:15 AM - 19 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    Not sure anyone is looking at mashed pumpkin the same way again. WHOSE POO LOOKS LIKE MASHED PUMPKIN?!

    Jenny Evans / AAPIMAGE

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