1. Essays are overrated
2. Your essay will not be about Buzzfeed Listicles. It will be one.
3. Top Myths About College Writing You were Taught in High School
4. Buzzfeed is a site for sober reflection
5. A Meme is Worth a Thousand Words Double-Spaced.
6. Auto-Generate a Thesis that Foregrounds the Shape of your Argument
7. Replace Peer Workshops with Likes and Favorites
8. Remember to Get Your Internet Vernacular right!
9. Take the "What Citation Style Are You?" Quiz
Hate to be a Buzzkill, but...
it is still a paper. Yes, a graded writing assignment. For school. So you'll have to do a few of those things that papers require. But never fear. All of that is MUCH easier and nearly painless in this new literary genre of the Internet age.
10. Overwhelm readers in a plethora of sources
11. Include perspectives and reactions from a wide range of people
12. Explicate all of your quotations with clear prose
13. Weave your sentences together for seamless flow
14. Be sure to create a nuanced position on the issue.
But Listicles Can Do More!
Listen, I'm sorry about bringing up the whole grade thing. As they say, NO WORRIES!
In the world of Listicles, there's always a way out of a conventional essay writing pinch!
15. Need a counterargument? Try an eye roll
16. Still stuck? Let Beyoncé make your point
17. Don't Understand the theory? Use a theorist Meme
18. Uncertain what to say next, LOLcat
19. Develop your position with an ancient heuristic on YouTube
20. Look up "Heuristic"
And, PRESTO! You're done!
No need to worry about some intricate structure. The Listicle makes an order for you automagically, streamlining thought and taking the scariness out of the writing process!
Throw your writing handbooks in the trash. The future of teh writing is here!
And have no fear about this ruining your love of Buzzfeed because we all know that all it takes is a super cool writing instructor to make something trendy even cooler!
(This post's title was inspired by Kathy Albury).