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Buzzy Essay Assignment: The 5th Criterion Will Blow Your Mind

Here's a college essay assignment aimed to help students rise to the Buzzademia standards. Go here for more information on Buzzademia.

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1. Essays are overrated

giphy.com

Essays, who has time to read them anymore, let alone grade them? So for this assignment, you can all write a persuasive Listicle to develop your prowess in the most influential new form of literary journalism of our day!

There will be important choices: numbered vs. countdown vs. plain list. Choose the one that best fits your rhetorical strategy.

3. Top Myths About College Writing You were Taught in High School

media.giphy.com

Your AP English class had you writing an essay a day warning you that college would be worse. Much worse. They also taught you to write a 5 paragraph essay. Turns out college classes are much more interested in being trendy.

So here you are, writing a Buzzfeed article.

4. Buzzfeed is a site for sober reflection

Via buzzfeed.com

Well, Buzzfeed is what we make it. So we're making it a place of academic writing. How? By writing on it in the academy. It's that simple!

Now you can create a persuasive piece of writing for our final essay with a few minimal requirements:

Make your listicles at least 10 items long.

Write at least 750-1000 words of total text.

Oh, and here are a few more tips for your writing process!

5. A Meme is Worth a Thousand Words Double-Spaced.

m5.paperblog.com

(which makes this article over 20,000 words long!)

Why waste your time on paragraphs, when you can simply write 5 Words in Impact font across an ironic photo? Speak the Lingua Franca of our day and return to the kind of communication, the power of picture books.

7. Replace Peer Workshops with Likes and Favorites

i.imgur.com

Your peers are an important resource, but why task them with giving you comments on your paper when you can just crowdsource it? Post it on Buzzfeed and see who gives it a LOL and OMG or even a WTF! Then revise accordingly.

9. Take the "What Citation Style Are You?" Quiz

@allysonseber / Via Twitter: @allysonseber

Try on the Sorting Hat of Citation Styles.

Citation styles exist primarily to indicate which kind of person you are. You choose your style to match your personality.

APA = Ravenclaw; Chicago = Gryffindor; MLA = Hufflepuff. {Slitherin don't cite sources.}

Hate to be a Buzzkill, but...

it is still a paper. Yes, a graded writing assignment. For school. So you'll have to do a few of those things that papers require. But never fear. All of that is MUCH easier and nearly painless in this new literary genre of the Internet age.

But Listicles Can Do More!

Listen, I'm sorry about bringing up the whole grade thing. As they say, NO WORRIES!

In the world of Listicles, there's always a way out of a conventional essay writing pinch!

19. Develop your position with an ancient heuristic on YouTube

View this video on YouTube

And, PRESTO! You're done!

No need to worry about some intricate structure. The Listicle makes an order for you automagically, streamlining thought and taking the scariness out of the writing process!

Throw your writing handbooks in the trash. The future of teh writing is here!

And have no fear about this ruining your love of Buzzfeed because we all know that all it takes is a super cool writing instructor to make something trendy even cooler!

(This post's title was inspired by Kathy Albury).

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

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