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    Niles Crane’s Best 29 Lines On “Frasier”

    "May your opera box be full of cellophane crinklers and a stage swarming with standbys!"

    1. When he was a true expert in flirting.

    2. And a little less of an expert in sports.

    3. Or really just anything sport-like.

    4. When he was wise in matters of the heart.

    5. When he knew all about the sex.

    6. When he encompassed exactly what it was like to have a shitty day.

    7. When he really knew how to show his brother some appreciation.

    8. When he was a fabulous psychiatrist for people with abandonment issues.

    9. When he was a fabulous psychiatrist for compulsive spenders.

    10. When he was a fabulous psychiatrist for sex addicts.

    11. When he was a fabulous psychiatrist for people with multiple personality disorder.

    12. Really, just the best.

    13. When he knew just how to celebrate a victory.

    14. When he had nothing but warmth for Roz Doyle.

    15. When he definitely did not go to prom with his own brother.

    16. When his attempt to liven up his sex life went horribly awry.

    17. Or when he failed at trying to abstain from sex.

    18. When he convinced himself that he had eaten a pot brownie.

    19. When he decided to test his skills as a potential father.

    20. Or when he ventured into bird fatherhood.

    21. When he took allergy medication that made him little loopy.

    22. When he showed up to coffee wearing the same outfit as his brother.

    23. When the poor guy ran into money trouble and had to give up his car.

    24. When he pulled out this mother of all insults.

    25. When he attempted to wrap his mind around the appeal of Euro-Disney.

    26. When Frasier tried to help him out and it backfired horribly.

    27. When he and Frasier attempted to teach themselves to ride bikes.

    28. When Niles knew exactly how to put off writing a paper.

    29. And when he knew just how to handle rejection.