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13 Sex Positions All New Yorkers Love

I'm not just talking about the "F" train. WARNING: Comically explicit toon sex.

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1. The Tiny Apartment

A standing position wherein both partners brace themselves against the walls of a very small apartment.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

A standing position wherein both partners brace themselves against the walls of a very small apartment.

2. The Dollar Slice

This position must be performed while standing up and must be completed in under five minutes.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

This position must be performed while standing up and must be completed in under five minutes.

3. The Cab Ride

Doggy style that takes entirely too long while bottom is continually insisting they could perform much better as a top than the top.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Doggy style that takes entirely too long while bottom is continually insisting they could perform much better as a top than the top.

4. The Broadway between 78th and 10th

One participant lies down on their back and the other lies face down on top of them diagonally for no goddamn reason.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

One participant lies down on their back and the other lies face down on top of them diagonally for no goddamn reason.

5. The "SHOWTIME!"

Advanced aerial sex where the bottom screams "OH SHIT! WATCH HIM!" to onlookers.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Advanced aerial sex where the bottom screams "OH SHIT! WATCH HIM!" to onlookers.

6. The Williamsburg

One participant brings the other to climax only by the tickle of their ironic facial hair.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

One participant brings the other to climax only by the tickle of their ironic facial hair.

7. The Manspread

One participant receives oral sex while taking up as much room as possible.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

One participant receives oral sex while taking up as much room as possible.

8. The April 15th

The participants have sex while hugging each other and sobbing after paying their state taxes.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

The participants have sex while hugging each other and sobbing after paying their state taxes.

9. The Rude Commuter

A seated position where the top participant is a pregnant woman and the bottom participant must not stand up at any time.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

A seated position where the top participant is a pregnant woman and the bottom participant must not stand up at any time.

10. The Times Square

Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Sex with five or more participants while being blasted by strobe lights from every direction.

11. The Winter Outfit

The participants attempt to copulate while wearing as many articles of black clothing as humanly possible.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

The participants attempt to copulate while wearing as many articles of black clothing as humanly possible.

12. The Tourist

One participant blindly fumbles at the other while looking up starstruck at some kind of attraction.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

One participant blindly fumbles at the other while looking up starstruck at some kind of attraction.

13. The Bodega

The reliable missionary position during a fast, middle-of-the-night booty call.
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

The reliable missionary position during a fast, middle-of-the-night booty call.

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