But really you're just applying to entry-level jobs in your underwear like the rest of us.
You don't get paid enough for this. In fact, you don't get paid ANYTHING for this.
Because there's only one Tree Hill. And it is literally filled with psycho killers and deranged ex-girlfriends.
Because 6 a.m. is tough and coffee in a cool mug is that much more delicious.
"Oy, with the poodles already."