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How French Are You?

You thought wearing stripes and a beret was enough to make you French? Think again.

Posted on
Gaumont
  1. Check everything that applies to you:

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    You've gone on strike at least once in your life.
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    You don’t remember why.
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    You complain when it’s too hot.
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    You complain when it’s too cold.
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    You complain when it’s too windy.
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    You complain when there isn’t enough wind.
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    You complain a lot.
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    But you hate listening to other people complain.
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    You’ve already cut in line today.
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    You cut lines regularly.
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    You’ve already yelled at someone for cutting in line.
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    You’ve yelled at someone for cutting in line after cutting the same line yourself.
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    You’ve taken part in demonstrations.
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    You don’t remember what they were about.
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    You can eat whole baguettes.
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    You like your cheese stinky.
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    Super stinky.
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    Soul-crushingly stinky.
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    You like talking about life over bottles of wine.
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    You think life is meaningless.
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    And way too short.
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    You don’t like rich people.
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    Nor successful people.
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    You’ve tasted raw oysters.
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    You loved it.
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    You’ve had snails.
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    And you loved it.
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    You’ve tasted foie gras.
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    You loved it.
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    When you see a duck, you think about a duck confit.
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    You don’t care about animal cruelty as long as it tastes good.
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    You think France is the most beautiful country in the world.
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    You distrust religions.
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    And English people.
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    And vegetarians.
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    You don’t believe in God.
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    But you believe in free healthcare.
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    And free education.
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    You know about Proust
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    You say you’ve read Proust but you actually stopped after the first page of Swann’s Way.
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    You think there is some good to Communism.
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    You’ve been to a communist festival.
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    And you loved it.
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    You agree with at least some ideas promoted by the Socialist party.
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    You drank your first glass of alcohol before you reached 16.
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    Your parents were there when you drank it.
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    You smoke.
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    You drink your coffee black.
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    You sometimes judge people by the way they dress.
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    Or the way they talk.
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    Or by the books they read.
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    You’d never wear sweatpants in public.
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    Except at the gym.
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    You don’t actually go to the gym.
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    You’re loud.
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    You don’t like loud people.
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    You don’t like slow people.
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    You don’t like stupid people.
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    You don’t really like people.
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    You know who Serge Gainsbourg is and you think he is a genius.
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    You don’t care if a political leader cheats on his/her partner.
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    You don’t care if he/she is married.
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    You’re brutally honest.
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    And sarcastic.
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    You criticize everything.
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    You’re never overly enthusiastic about anything.
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    You don’t care very much for courtesies.
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    But you can flirt like it’s nobody’s business.
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    You think French should be the most spoken language in the world.
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    In the meantime, you’ve decided not to bother with any other language.
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    You hate tourists.
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    But you're proud of the fact that France is the most popular touristic destination in the World.
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    You don’t believe in dieting.
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    You think juice cleanses should be illegal.
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    You like butter.
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    And heavy cream.
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    And whipped cream.
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    You like to eat.
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    You took at least four hours a week of philosophy in high school.
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    You already knew about existentialism at 15.
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    You find berets fucking ridiculous.
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    You think the bloody French revolution was glorious.
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    You’re obsessed with American movies and TV shows.
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    But you love to criticize Americans.
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    You hate waiting.
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    You shower everyday.
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    But you don’t judge those who don’t.
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    You hate when people only talk about Godard when you mention French culture.
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    You speak French.
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    You’re actually French.

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